Where do I begin……my wonderful husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer on 13 January they told us it would be months rather than years. He passed away last week. It all seems so fast. I keep busy during the day with all the admin you need to do when someone passes away. I do this none stop because when I do stop and think I just burst into tears. The last week before he passed he stayed mainly upstairs in bed and I used to do thing’s downstairs and pop up regularly to see if he needed anything or do meditation. He wasn’t really eating by the final few days only yoghurt with his morning medication as these needed to be taken with food. Before the dreaded C he had a major sweet tooth and was a big man. Anyway I tell myself now when I’m doing things downstairs “he’s upstairs resting” it’s the only way I can cope during the day to be honest. The nights are the hardest lots of heart wrenching crying. I miss him so very much and I feel like I to died the day he did. Family and friends have been kind and supportive but I can’t except them to come running every time I breakdown which to be completely honest is every day. I put on a front and when they ask I say up and down but ok. Which is far from the truth. My question to those out there that have lost a loved one to this F in cruel disease is how do you go on each day when your life seems so empty now without your soulmate?
