Feeling so lost

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Yesterday I lost my partner and I am feeling so sad and lost. He was only 58. We were together for 4 years when we were very young and then our paths crossed again 6 years ago and we got back together. 
He was diagnosed with oesophagus cancer at the end of November after an endoscopy . He went for various scans and we hoped he would have treatment. Then on the 2nd Jan we were told he was terminal and had 3-6 months at the most. The cancer had spread to the liver, lungs and bones.  I only got 3 weeks with him and they were the most painful 3 weeks. He lost so Much weight, was being sick all the time and his skin turned yellow. He was so brave through all of it. Now I am just heartbroken and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I have cried non stop for 3 weeks since we were told and I am exhausted. If anyone can give me any support advice I would really appreciate it xx

  • Hi Footy19cat

    I am so sorry for your loss too. It’s only been a few days and it feels like he has been gone far longer. I think I have been grieving since November since his diagnosis as he just deteriorated in front of my eyes. He was poorly months before and I kept telling him to go to the doctors. We had 2 little breaks away in that time and I try to hold onto those memories although the second one we didn’t get out as he was so poorly. I miss him so much xx 

  • Hi

    I completely understand. My husband was taken I'll on Sunday and died of sepsis the fo!losing Saturday  they told me on Monday there,was Nothing they could do and I think I went into shock.sometimes I think I'm stil! In shock, other times I wish I was as it number the feeling.

    He as my everything. I'm am trying to carry on some sort of life as I know this is what he would want me to do but my heart isn't in it. One day at a time but this is so hard. I feel for you xx