Another Xmas and birthday over

Hello. I hear and feel your pain. As others will on this forum. I am so sorry to hear that.

Yes, this time of year is truly horrible, I know. Take things one minute by one. I don't know your situation, so cannot help, but hoping you have some kind of support to help you through this.

Do contact the Macmillan support here too ?

Take care 

Hugs. 

Thank you.

No family other than an aunt who has come up from.3 hours. She tries her best but as others have said, not your person. As you know friends can be disappointing.

I just can't get my head around this being it at 47.

Anyway thanks for the response, I'm glad u had an OK day yesterday (I saw your other post)

Take care too

I got home from my mums at 4 and have been crying since.
I cried so hard I was physically sick. 
Im calmer now, stopped screaming into his towel at least. 
Its an unbelievable, devastating 3 months today.

All the pent up tears, regrets my beautiful Valen can’t share the holiday period, anger, fear, guilt, hopelessness has escaped. 
Which is why I needed to get home. 
Not just because mum is mum and not him, but I could feel the dam crumbling and I didn’t want it to burst in front of her. 
As you say PBD7, I cannot see any quality of life at the moment. 
Funny, I spent 2 hours with mum going through some of her kitchen cupboards and chucking out old packets and jars and scrubbing them inside and out. 
But I can barely get my own hoover out. 
I did manic cleaning before to keep busy and occupied and not thinking. 
But now, can’t be arsed.

Any way, sending well wishes too you all

I hear everything you say.

Hope now you're back in your own space you feel a little more settled. 

Take care 

This is the 4th 'festive season' since I lost my Martyn add I've never felt more alone.  My heart goes out to you. Xxx

I'm sorry....

Take care xx

Hi there, I agree that quality of life is crap. I have woken up feeling very angry. I am bl..dy furious that cancer took my darling. I shall use that anger and clean the toilets and shower today. Sending hugs to all. Kate. Xxx

Life is torture just now, I feel your pain, this is the first Christmas I have ever spent alone and New Years Eve will be the same. I went to my daughters for dinner but not sure about New Year. I hate my life just now, wish the pain would go away. Hopefully a New Year will switch a light back on, take care xxx

Hi MrsVT, things still havnt got any better 12 weeks in now. I’m a still feeling the same, I went mad cleaning at the beginning but now I can’t be bothered doing anything anymore. Too lazy to make proper foods, tv on but not really watching it. Still crying most of the day, took any cards I got down today wondering where I will be this time next year. Life is so cruel,my husband should not have died that day, it’s so unfair. Just hope next year is better for us, it can’t get any worse. Hope you are ok xxx

Hi there, I am 20 weeks in now and have had a crying day. We did go to Lanzarote for five nights (with adult children) and came back Boxing Day. I sobbed on the plane, (Luckily, I had a window seat). I just couldn’t stop myself, the tears just rolled. We used to have a G & T on the plane, it was one of our little rituals and reinforced the fact that we wouldn’t be having our little breaks together anymore. Overall, it worked for us as we at least got some rest, sun and cocktails. These are all first time experiences, which I never imaged going through. Sending you all strength and hugs. Kate. Xxx