6 weeks in

Hi Alibee!

Reading your post, just mirrors what I have been through. Lost my husband to bowel cancer last June (2023) and I agree it is scary and frightening knowing that one person you could rely on is no longer here. We were together 40 years and it is still hard to comprehend 15 months in that he is no longer here. Yes I get that too about leaving the house some days/weeks I still get that that I don't want to leave the house or do anything/see anybody and everyone wanting to do things for you and feeling that they `need` to ask you when most of the time you just want to be left alone. I can't say to you when and if things will get better for you because we all move forward at different paces. I find that things have got slightly better for me and am pleased with myself that I have made a few small achievements since he passed whereas at the beginning and while he was still here and in his final days I just could not see a way forward without him. He said to me before he passed that I am stronger than I know and I would be able to carry on without him and in a way somehow some of it is ringing true now. It is still early days for you and if you feel you need it ask here for some telephone counselling. MacMillan can arrange this for you through Marie Curie. I did it in January this year and it helped a bit. You get I think it is still 6 free sessions where someone will phone you every week or every other week they leave it completely up to you to decide when you want them to contact you within those 6 sessions. Just having someone phone and to check in on how you are is a help and just to chat with someone who understands what you are feeling. You can always come on here too when you feel the need. We've all been there and `get` what you are going through. Best Wishes to you moving forward. Take Care.

Vicky x

Thank you Vicky x

Hi there, I really feel for you. I am eight weeks in, and only just starting to feel sane. The question I ask myself is, ‘What is normal ?’. The truth is, there is no normal. They have gone, and it is shocking and incredibly painful. The night time experience for me  is exactly the same. I had three hours sleep last night, and had to get up because of the nightmares. I feel scared at times too, I don’t know if we will be able to keep the same house, and financially if I can make it work. It is the last thing you need when you are trying to accept, process, grieve, survive. I am hoping you can do a gradual return to work. I have also found Bereavement Group Counselling helpful. I force myself to interact with people, even though I don’t want to. I decided that i will bl..dy well will survive, and no one will stop me. Sending hugs and cuddles. Kate.