No matter how much time passes since we lost our loved ones life is never the same.
Grief has affected us all in a myriad of ways, physical changes like rashes, a decline in health, weight loss/gain. All changes which underline the pain and hurt that the emotional damage losing our loved one has done to us. Other people can see the physical changes but they fail to realise the emotional scars which run far deeper and hurt so much more are the reason behind it all.
Time has passed so family and friends think we should be 'over it' so we find ourselves putting on a mask whilst inside we are numb, crumbling and falling apart.
I have so many regrets since losing my husband.. life changing decisions I made in the early days but now regret doing so.
Life for me, and I suspect many of us on here feels like I merely exist rather than live my life.
COVID lockdown meant my husband suffered a far more traumatic cancer experience than he should have. I am still angry about that... Nine months of pain and suffering.
Now, I can't help but wonder what we continue to strive for.
How I wish I could have more time with my husband... To have one of his bear hugs that always felt like being encompassed by a security blanket made of love x
