A WEEK ON..

All that matters is I loved him x

Hello Jayne 

Yes we all have similar. You are not alone with that.. I am sure he wouldn't want us to get caught up with all these guilty thoughts. It is exhausting enough just to keep going ? Keep the negative back and focus on just being in the present.

This is what I am telling myself to do !! Not always easy.

Remember, small steps are fine. Don't look back or too far forward either is my advice today !!

Take care 

Hugs

Thanks that's good advice xx

Hello Jayne, I had similar thoughts to you.  My civil partner left many debts, I had absolutely no idea.  They have all come to light in the 3 months following his death.  I'm not financially liable (thank goodness,  they were personal and unsecured)  but it made me question if I really knew him and what was going on in his head.  He went downhill pretty quickly, so no time to sort this on either side.   I try to comfort myself by saying he loved me so much he kept this to himself (debt was not gambling or drink, just general over-stretching the budget), and he was his own man with his own mind and decisions.  He was with you because he loved you, it's plain and simple.  Just simplify it down to that.  No marriage or partnership is perfect, no one person is perfect.   But they were perfect for YOU.  And me.  Don't dwell on your worries my friend.  Go with the grief, but also enjoy your happy memories,  as I am doing with my man.  Much love and hugs, Woods x 

Thankyou all for being so understanding, it's just how I feel at the moment it will be 2 years next month never imagined it would take this long x

Hi there 

46 weeks, soon in September will be 11 months. I can see as time passes it's not easier, you just need to carry on coping. August is difficult, a time for holidays together and now time to be alone.

In the end went away for one night, and visited Sant Martí Empuries, a Roman and Greek archaeological site near La Escala. I last was there in 1990 with my husband, young and  in first love. What a weird feeling, why can't you just open a door and go back in time to see them.? Was trying to dig out the old photos on 1990.when we visited ! Found a few, not one he hated of him looking really thin... 

A sliding doors moment, would he have even died of cancer if he hadn't been with me.  All so sad, but can treasure all the time we shared and family we have together...

Bit of rambling

Tomorrow back to work so less time for contemplation although it's been good to think.more intensively, you like to think they are still there somewhere watching over us 

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your wonderful wife. I lost my dear husband of 28 years 4 weeks ago and I'm still in a daze. I really don't want to lecture but please do try to look forward with positivity as positivity breeds positivity and it is the only way we will cope moving foreward. My husband was given a year to 18 months and he was buried on the day that 18 months was up. He enjoyed everyday of the time we had together and I am so appreciate of that. He was 54. Our loved ones really wouldn't want us to see each day as a dreadful experience but would wish us every happiness moving forward. That's why we were both so in love with them and they would want each passing day to get better rather than worse. I know exactly what you mean regarding the phone calls and paperwork, I've cried to so many strangers on the phone while trying to sort our direct debits and bills, but this too will pass. Life will never be the same without them but for their sakes we must try to be grateful for all the wonderful years we enjoyed with them. How lucky are we, so many people never experienced the love we did. With every item of good news I hear, I embrace it and wish them well because we can take enormous pleasure in the joy and good fortunes of others. That's because we were so in love and know what good fortune really means.

I so wish you well. Sending big hugs.