Bank holidays

Hi everyone we are all in this awful place no one ever wanted to be the lonliness is the worst thing for me apart from my cat im alone .He was my everything  and always will be im 71 and totally lost .I dread the summer months  apart from hopefully having a day out occasionally with a friend's, this just feels like my new normal  im not one for going out alone or joining clubs so its not living its just existing now .The only good think is all of you although I don't want you to be here either hope we can find some comfort  and support thanks for listening  xxxFaithfull .

Hi everyone,  yes in the same boat

. I have a full time job, and my daughter came back to live at home, she was working in South Korea when her Dad got sick. But she has a boyfriend and is often away, as she should and especially this weekend

So when you are suddenly really alone it hits you more .

  It's 30 weeks today since that fateful Monday and I have managed. But when it's the total quiet, no work, no company I realise I haven't managed really .. May be even being busy and company shield you but it's not going to save you from that empty abyss.     Me as well, had a quiet content life with Juan Luís so need to reinvent myself

. My young neighbour was commenting on Saturday how  quickly the cancer got my husband, she said she was very impressed how fit and healthy he was going up our flat stairs to the third floor whilst she was puffing going to the first . 

 It really is every day is different. These solitary days bring it home.  I can't believe he's not coming back. Have had a couple of dreams over the holiday period with him in it, but they aren't satisfying ones as he's not really there. But better than none. I think you might sleep more lightly on holiday

On a practical note there is a group called Way Up for bereaved partners over 50.  They have meet ups all over the UK, and zoom calls. I live in Spain so can't meet up in person, joined the odd zoom. However it's really welcoming and has people at all stages of grief and good mix of men and women. If you haven't heard of it, worth looking into. They do a check to make sure you are genuinely bereaved.

We have to find our way but, it's going to take time. 

Love to all,xxx

Hi everyone

It somehow feels like I am not alone in the bank holiday nightmare. I lost my husband on April 7th and today I spent sorting clothes to take to the undertakers tomorrow, it has been the most awful day, I tried desperately to occupy myself with dog walking and gardening but just could not stop crying and thinking of all the things we did together on bank holidays. My two sons are young and living their lives and still trying to process their own grief and how quickly they lost their Dad, only 26 days from diagnosis to losing him. Feel like I cannot lean on them but it is so hard just getting through each day. My thoughts are with all of you. X

Hello 

Many thanks. Can't say it's easy though. Almost overwhelming but bit by bit I'm going to do the exhibition.

At the moment looking at Khartoum on the tv. Barry was there several times on work assignments. Have the photos of that too. Still happening, even after 40 years ?. Barry used to get sad seeing the news the following years. No change he said often.

Quite understand you can't do a music tribute for your beloved. Too hard.

Take care 

1. Hello,I'm in the same position I'm 59,trying to get my life back to some normality not for my sake but to stop everyone having to think about me,after 18 months I'm starting to feel that my sad situation is dragging everyone down,I'm trying my best I'm amazed my grief hasn't finished me off to it feels that bad sometimes but,having to go for interviews to go back to work,selling the house because the interest rate has gone up and I can't afford to stay,its almost  unbearable but I'm alive so nothing to complain about just not alive with the man I loved.

Jane 64,

Being in my 50s too, as quite a few of us are I think, I too find myself in a bit of a situation. I need to get back to work but find the thought so hard to face. I'm going to put this 'get 50s back into work' to the task and see how it goes.

The most difficult aspect, without any doubt, is contemplating the future without the person who was, quite frankly, my life!

Take care,

WDJ

Hello thanks for replying, iv been for several interviews it was so difficult but i need to work but they ask about your situation,and I'm getting the feeling that a grieving woman in her late fiftys in not what they want so what am I supposed to do I  just want someone to give me a chance to get my life back on track.

Sadly my interview this week was at the hospice where my husband passed away first time iv been back there i was so nervous, i obviously didnt come across well because,iv not had a response from them.

I am 62, my partner died 10 days ago, but the sheer hell began 6 months ago when she suddenly became ill and lost weight. Since then I have cried every day, we found out in february it was terminal so its been a rollercoaster few months. Some days you just feel overwhelmed with it dont you? you amaze yourself with how much emotional pain you can actually take, most days I think I will not get through it but I know I will, I have to for my little dog. She has been by my side throughout and if not for her I dont think I could have got this far. I am trying to focus on better days ahead, I know they will come eventually, I just hate feeling so low and tearful all the time, I am sick of myself! We had no children so no one to share the grief with. Friends have been amazing and supportive but they cant take away the pain. I have always been happy in my own company, I dont feel the need to be surrounded by people, I can happily stay in for days and not feel lonely, for that aspect of my introvert personality I am grateful! Its just the knowing I will never see or hear her again, its just a big black void. Anyway, sorry for rambling, just want you to know you are not alone xx

Thats the hardest part isnt it? We were together for 32 years, almost half my life. Losing your partner, best friend and soulmate all in one is devastating. Thinking of all the years ahead without that special person is overwhelming. Sending hugs x