Bank holidays

Hello 

Totally get it ! Me too. I don't have family, just a sister in Scotland who I hardly hear from. She doesn't understand when I tell her of the utter loneliness I feel that is overwhelming. It all comes in waves, sometimes ok, relatively calm, then wham up it come to the surface. Hits you again, the loss of the person and the sheer misery without them. I keep busy, but then I get overtired and emotional. Just shut the door and hide, don't want to share that with anyone. Not sure if that is good or bad ?

Coming up next month, the first year. Have done so much in that time but still what next ? I am 67 and want to keep busy, even for the brain to keep alert ! In the midst of a big project to mount an exhibition of Barry's photos, as he was a photo journalist. Bit by bit, to go through all his work. A bit like us here. Taking it one step at a time. No rush and in our own way.

Take care 

Hugs are necessary too !

I’m with you on the bank holidays. I’m torn between wanting to be with people and just  wanting to hide away and be on my own. 
We tended to stay home on Bank holidays when Dave was here (avoiding the crowds), just happy to be with each other. 
 I’ve got a full hiking day tomorrow with a walking group that I joined (it took me 12 months from when I first made contact to actually meeting up) but Monday is looking large. 
I have things I could do in the house (finishing bathroom renovations but I seem to be struck with inertia whenever I intend to do them. Which is weird as I am normally such a doer. 
I guess what will be will be. 
Im 54 too and have two trips booked - one to visit my Dad (who lives in France ) and a week in the lakes (I’m the same place we went every year. The thought of going somewhere different cripples me with fear so for now I’m sticking with the familiar. 
Take care everyone 

J x 

Hi Fifinet

Well done for arranging the exhibition. What a wonderful thing to do to honour Barry’s memory. Some people have talked about doing a memorial concert for Dave (he was a guitarist) but the thought of seeing all his band mates and friends on stage and him not being there is too much for me. 

Hi Ruby diamond and all here who are going thro this .I am in the same place only lost my soulmate on the 12th  of April and the lonliness is unbearable  im so alone and scared of any future without him we did every thing together and I'm not the type of person to do anything  on my own im introvert .Im in the North East and doesn't seem to be any bereavement groups near me my family live abroad  .The future looks so bleak life is so cruel isnt it thank goodness this group exists its my life line now sending you all support xxx

Hi faithful. 
Im so sorry. It really is very early days for you. I’m like you and find it really hard to go into  new situations on my own. Dave was my rock and as long as he was beside me I  was ok. 
Have you tried reaching out to your local hospice - they often run support sessions or can you put you in touch with some. 
I know right now you’ll feel like your life has ended too - and in a way it has - the life you had - but in time you will find a way to move forward to a new life. I’m not saying that it’s easy - I’m 18 months in and I still have really bad days but I also have some days where I do things that I enjoy. They’re usually bitter sweet as I then wanna tell Dave all about them but I’m trying to get round thisb by writing a diary as if I’m telling him all about my day. 
Have a look at Sue Ryder support. I get a couple of texts from them a week and they’re actually quite helpful- they’re personalised so feel really relevant. It’s a small thing but might help you 

Keep talking on here whe you need to. Take care 

J x 

It is kind of you all to reply. Sadly I know you all understand. 

Rob has been gone 5 years now, and I have done lots of things to keep me busy, including a new kitchen, new flooring downstairs,  had a wood burner installed and my most recent task making our bedroom how I would like it. All essential and I love the changes but every decision was so difficult making it alone.

I have elderly parents who live 400 miles away and acquaintances in the village I live in. I never made friends, Rob and our children were all I needed. 

I just want my old life back with our future and all the exciting plans we had. Not this lonely empty future with nothing to look forward to.

Hi jellybean 74 so gratefull for your reply and good advice seems like we are the forgotten  ones sometimes  im 71.Although ive a few good friends and my beloved grandson near means so much to me that your all here sad circumstances for us all but hope we will make each other stronger love Faithful xxx

1. You know I was wondering whether anyone else was feeling this way then I saw this post. I've been dreading these bank holidays for the same reasons as others. I'm 8 months in and just can't bear it. We used to live for them as we'd always do something or nothing together and of course it meant a shorter work week and time together. Now...well I have no words, the loneliness is excruciating. I have no one else so just me. 45 years old and I feel like my life is over. Well it is isn't it. Instead of doing nice things it's just work or chores to distract. No pleasure or joy left in this empty lonely life now my love has gone. And the weather,  the better weather just reminds me of the things we used to do that will be no more. I hate it...Sometimes I don't even know what to do with myself. Like today, other than jobs which I don't particularly feel like doing what is there? But feel I will do them as I need a distraction. This has now to turned into a ramble so I'll stop here.
2. Sending strength x

Hi

I think the majority of us wind up rambling on here - because we can - because we all get it and we can say things here that we cant say to friends and family, that as much as they try, just don’t get it. 
Today I am going to try to fit skirting board and architrave. This will be a first for me at 54 - hopefully you can teach an old dog new tricks. It’s a job I’ve needed to do for quite a few weeks but haven’t been able to motivate myself. Today I just need something to fill the day so here goes

Whatever you all wind up doing today- let’s just get through today the best we can and be here for each other if needed 

J x 

Thanks, that is true.

Wow, that sounds like a task! Good luck I'm sure you'll do great  and feel pleased with yourself after.

Take care x