Recently widowed and devastated

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My lovely husband passed away suddenly on 18th June. He was 5 treatments away from ringing the bell in oncology radiation department. The treatments took its toll on him and he succumbed to pneumonia. I am beyond devastated he fought so hard to get through the gruelling radiation therapy. We had been married 44 years . He was my life . We lost our only child in 2010 and we supported each other through this and built ourselves a little life . He retired 2 years ago and I was due to retire soon and we had plans to travel the world . He was diagnosed in February with lung cancer with brain metastasis. He completed the brain radiation treatment and was almost through the lung radiation therapy. I have good family support but I miss him and our son so much.

I read a few posts on this site regarding feeling jealous of other couples and people stepping back now the funeral is over , going back to their lives and totally agree...Its a very lonely pkace to be . I just don't want to move on without him.

I would love to talk to anyone who feels like this...its a club no one wants to be in and only those who are members understand. Please feel free to contact me I'd love to talk to anyone walking in those shoes...️

Buddiesmum over 2 years ago in reply to Jillybean74

The journal is good too. It helps to get on paper what you are feeling. It gives me a focus each day to read or journal. It makes me cry how she absolutely gets it. Life feels so unreal.

Buddiesmum over 2 years ago in reply to Chelseabluegirl

Im so glad , and I really hope it helps. You can also find her on instagram, and some of my family and friends are now following her as it is helping them understand where I am.

Chelseabluegirl over 2 years ago in reply to Buddiesmum

hi I’ll look at that. I started writing in a journal shortly after Rob died, i got the idea from this forum, i write to him when I feel the need. I read some of earlier entries and I can see that I am doing better, not so angry about some things now.

I am a bit random when I write, I just get a feeling that I need to.

It does help me to write down my feelings and tell him things that happened.

You’re right, life is so unreal sometimes. Robs cousin son has recently died from brain tumours aged 18, I’m trying to help her as well to get through it, I’ll recommend to her as well.

Take care all of you

Love is eternal

Christa over 2 years ago in reply to Wildcat

My situation is also similar- my husband of 36 years died in July this year after a short illness - pancreatic cancer with spread to the liver. He was 59, we did not have children and shared a full and active life with many friends.

I feel lost without him and not sure how I can carry on...although some survival instinct is so far keeping me going. I have some supportive friends and family- although my family do not live close by.

His funeral was very well attended, he was a kind man who loved life and organised lots of activities for me and others.

It is so hard to continue with our previously full life without him, I am finding it hard to plan ahead. Friends are getting on with their lives and I am finding that I am no longer included in their plans. The illness was so quick that I did not really have time to imagine life without him...

I am back at work and was starting to find it easier to concentrate, however today seems like a bad day.

I am 60 and cannot imagine what my future holds without him.

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Recently widowed and devastated