Recently widowed and devastated

Thankyou ,life is tough and painful, I just drag myself out of bed put 1 foot in front of the other and get through each day as best I can!!

to be honest that’s the only thing you can do, you do what you have to do to get through each day.

My husband died 1 year ago this Sunday, I still cry a lot as I so miss him, even the annoying things he did, but I have accepted that’s he’s not coming back and I have to get on with my new life.  I’ve met some really lovely people through various groups like Way Up (it’s probs too early for you) but time is a great healer, I’ll never forget him but as I said I have to get in with life.  

Take care all of you 

x

I had not heard of Way Up so may give them a try. My loss is recent (8 weeks) and I can identify with many of the comments above. 

We were together for 38 years, married for 36. We had a great life together, he had such a zest for life and organised many trips and adventures for us both and our friends in a local walking group. He overcame 2 instances of bowel cancer- one in his 20's and then in 2019 in his 50's. He had been having some pains since January of this year however still keeping active- walking, cycling and ski-ing. We did not have any children and both worked so were able to travel. He had been to the GP promptly however there were telephone only appointments and delays in getting a scan. 

However, the diagnosis in May this year of metastatic pancreatic cancer was still a horrible shock. His illness was very short- which I can see as a blessing for him. It all happened so quickly- there was no time to think about how I would feel after his death. 

I knew it would not be easy however had no idea just how painful it would feel and how fearful I would feel about things I took for granted before. I always knew how much he took care of me and did appreciate it...

I do have some support although family do not live close by. It is just the feeling that other people who have not experienced this cannot really understand just how bad it feels...and I am the first person in my friendship group to experience this. 

I am not sure how much I will have in common any more with the friends that we had...he was the one who did the organizing of trips...they still have lives and future plans whilst at the moment it feels that my life is on pause...

Hi, I feel for you, my husband also died from the silent killer.  Horrendous.

Ive made friends with a couple of other widows and it’s great as we know how each other is feeling and can openly talk about it.  i’ve had a bad few days tbh but chatted on the phone to somebody I met through this forum last night, we both ‘get’ how each other feels and it really helps.  Like you i’m the first widow in our group of friends.

You might not believe it now, but it does getter easier and our life will never be the same.

Take care

Love is eternal 

Hello Christa. I can so identify with your story. My husband passed away 17weeks and 5 days ago. I have all anxiety and pain you describe , although it will be different to yours. I would recommend 2 books by Megan Devine, one is "Its ok that youre not ok"  , and the other is  a journal called "How to carry what cant be fixed". They have helped me no end , and I am currently still reading through them. They make me cry because she describes it how it is so well. I dont know how I would be coping without these two godsends.  My thoughts are with you. x

I am very new into this journey, my husband died two weeks ago following six month battle with mouth cancer which led to horrific effects for him. We were not blessed with  any children and this journey is incredibly lonely. I know it very early but I can’t comprehend that forever Is exactly that, I will never never see him again on earth. He was just 58, I am 45, we were married 12 years. Like you, we too had plans, so many things to do and places to go. I guess I just want to say I understand and am walking the path with you.  

I will second the recommendation for “It’s ok that you’re not ok” She just gets it. Whenever I read it it’s like a revelation because I feel exactly the way she describes. In fact I’m going to read some today as I’m not having the best day and I think a bit of reading may help 

Like everyone here I have lost the love of my life recently but only married for 4 years next month. I fell in love with my wife the first time I met her and she the same with me. Unfortunately, at the young age of 35 she lost her fight. She passed away on 12th July and I miss everything about her and the plans that we made and won't be able to fulfil together.

This weekend has been a bit crap to be honest as are most weekends as we did everything together. I am going through so many different emotions as I would imagine are so many of you if not all. As we used to say, one day at a time.

Like everyone here I have lost the love of my life recently but only married for 4 years next month. I fell in love with my wife the first time I met her and she the same with me. Unfortunately, at the young age of 35 she lost her fight. She passed away on 12th July and I miss everything about her and the plans that we made and won't be able to fulfil together.

This weekend has been a bit crap to be honest as are most weekends as we did everything together. I am going through so many different emotions as I would imagine are so many of you, if not all. As we used to say, one day at a time.

Thanks for the recommendation, just bought on kindle and will read