Overwhelming sadness

  • 13 replies
  • 36 subscribers
  • 1153 views

Only 7 days till the first anniversary of my Linda passing, was thinking it’s less anxiety and depression now, it’s just Total overwhelming sadness Cold sweat. I am having online CBT therapy, was suggested that during the day when I have sad thoughts of Linda, triggered by a plethora of everyday things, I write them down, and at a set time each day, I face these emotions, think it’s meant to help manage my emotions during the day, by knowing I have a specific time to face them. So far I am not doing exactly this, but yesterday at 3pm I gave myself time to talk to Linda, tell her how I feel, talk about our life together, made me cry, but felt good, going to try this again at 3pm, so will try not to get emotionally upset during the day, but save it for 3pm. No idea if long term this will help, but need try something, just feel sad pretty much all day, always on the verge of tears.

Hopefully my eldest Son will take me to the Cemetery on the 17th, he doesn’t feel the need, but, I do, emotionally and also practically to check everything is tidy, Linda hated things being out of place our untidy.

thank you for listening 

  • UPDATE

    well seem to have got through that period of intense sadness, seems to come in waves or cycles. Presently I’m not managing too badly I am driving myself to the cemetery on Sunday, my youngest son is coming with me. Going to be a difficult day. My eldest Son is planning to move to Scotland, which is the opposite end of the country to me and the rest of his family, so we won’t see much of him, which is upsetting, but he must do what he needs to do

    thanks

    Sweat Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories

  • My wedding anniversary tomorrow it's third one without my husband it hurts so much still, the pain dosent get easier, another long lonely day, have you got other children, 

  • I have 3 with Linda and my youngest from my second marriage, he visits me every 3 days for dinner a movie and games, XBOX or chess…..he is a fantastic help to me.

    anniversaries will always be difficult, as you say the pain doesn’t get easier, we just learn to manage with it.

    I married Linda twice, once in 1972, then again in 2008, we divorced in 1984, but found love with each other again. So have more anniversaries, two meeting two engagement and two weddings….

    take care of you…..

    Sweat Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories

  • Life is so hard and lonely for us, only if you have lost your lifetime partner will you understand how hard it is,  you have everything twice,  take care of you, sending a hug 

  • Thank you, have sent you a friend request 

    keep safe

    Sweat Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories

  • I don't no how to accept it, can you help 

  • Hi ArthurD and Mope,

    Yes, it is so hard. It's now 8 months since my Lin passed away and some days I feel so low. Things seem to have been a little worse this last week or so and I think it is because it will be our wedding anniversary next week, we would've been married 43 years. I am having bereavement counselling through my local hospice and that is helping, it makes me feel unburdened somehow. I am also going to a bereavement café once or twice a month and I find that really good, talking to other people in the same situation, sharing feelings and thoughts etc. Not looking forward to next week but I will go and talk to my Lin at my local church where her ashes are interred. Been a few tearful moments this week. I have taken some more of her clothes to the local Cancer Research and hospice shops this week and that is still not easy to do. Still have one more wardrobe to sort through but not sure when I will do that as it will seem a sort of final thing to do.

    Take care both of you.

     Derek

  • Sorry for your loss derick,  it took me 18 months to sort my husband clothes out, I gave them to the hospice,  other people lives carry on but mine seems to have stood still, we didn't have children together it was my second marriage, so don't have much support but I keep telling myself things will get better but we see, sending a hug to you, take care 

  • Hello Derek

    i still haven’t had any counselling, just can’t bring myself to do that. The cafe idea might work, not sure if it’s available near me, is it just local to you ? I took ,y Linda’s bras to a charity collection, that was tough, it’s the only clothes I’ve managed so far, her trousers are still hanging over the wardrobe door where she left them a year ago……just don’t know when or even if I’ll be able to sort the,, so very sad..

    take care 

    Sweat Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories

  • You should leave the clothes till you feel ready,  I found that so hard to pack up my husband clothes, I gave them to hospice but did keep his football shirts, but other things I can't touch of his, hope your doing ok, sending a hug to you