The first anniversary of his death is approaching

Hi Lost2021, I’m sorry for your loss. It’s nearly 15 months since I lost Guy but to be honest it could have been yesterday. When i lost him suddenly to cancer in February 2021 I was assured I wouldn’t always feel like this, usually by people who hadn’t experienced the loss of a soulmate/life partner. Well I do still feel like this, the pain is still mostly unbearable on a daily basis and I struggle to see the point/purpose of a life without him. I still feel like I'm just existing. It’s only by reading the posts on sites like this and Sue Ryder that I know that how we feel is perfectly normal and it’s ok, that a year is nothing at all when you are grieving such an immense loss. Cancer took Guy’s life and destroyed mine. I do pray for all of us on here that time will ease the pain eventually but I think the loss will never truly leave us because it’s changed us and pinged us into a reality we don’t want and didn’t ask for.

take care, love and best wishes

linda 

Hi Linda,

I am hoping that talking to people that have gone/or going through this will help. As therapy, family and friends have not been enough.

Just reading your message was comforting as it felt like finally someone gets it.

The loss and pain you feel for your Guy is how I feel about my Kaz.

Thank you  

Look after yourself, feel free to keep in touch. 

Hi

The first anniversary for me will be next month and like you, I am still really struggling. Family and friends live far away or have moved on with their lives, leaving me behind.

I read a post I’d written about a month after he passed away and my feelings are still the same as I could have written it today. All I hear is give it time, distract yourself etc  but for how long.

The reality is just so unbearable and the future, something I still can’t contemplate.

Where this last year has gone I just don’t know as it seems like yesterday and yet now I just feel so lost, alone and heartbroken.

Take care,

Julie x

Hi, sorry that you are here.  It's 16 months since I lost my partner Nic.  The time has passed quickly but also slowly as I've been bogged down with emotions and things to do   Existing is how I feel.  Nothing I do, however productive, has any meaning.  I do things to pass time until I can go to sleep, but then I just have really weird dreams.  The "it'll get better with time" thing from others who have not experienced this pain is irrelevant to us.  I've had many good days, but more bad ones.  I'm trying to get my dog booked into boarding so I can get away from home for a few days.  I know I won't feel any better, but different four walls for a while might be nice.

We're all here to support each other as most people we know do not have any idea what this is like.  Let's keep posting and hopefully we can all manoeuvre through this as best we can.

Kind thoughts to you all.

Felicity x

Hi All,

Hi All,

Sorry, still getting to grips with this. Thank you All for your replies. I have never felt so alone, even when I am surrounded by my loved ones. It just feels like they don't understand even though they try to. 

My whole life has changed, from my title, my household routine, everything is all on me. 

It feels like the world is asking me to build a home from scratch and it may seem as though I have all I need, no one has left me instructions on how to build it. 

How am I supposed to rebuild something that is so broken on my own.

I miss my husband. 

Hi Lost2021

You are so right when you say we are expected to rebuild something that is so broken and then just move  on with our lives. How is that ever going to be possible!

My daughter has told me that she wants her old mum back but in all honesty, that is never going to happen. I was part of a couple for over 40 years and that just can’t be set aside. It’s  as if  that part of my life is over so I’m expected to just get on with a new one……

Even after nearly a year I still can’t believe what has happened. I still hope it’s not true and that this nightmare and lonely life will soon be over. 

Take care everyone

X Julie

Hello

I am almost at the first year since Linda passed, 17th July 2021. I plan to go to the cemetery where her ashes are laid, they are lain on her Mothers grave, I plan to have my ashes scattered on her Dads grave, we will be next to each other for eternity.

wishing you strength and courage

Oh Julie

i feel exactly the same, I don’t feel any more capable than I did when Linda passed, everything is so impossible, I barely manage life’s essentials, I do the laundry and eat and drink, that’s about it, haven’t done housework for ages. Linda had such a strict housework regime, twice a week, on Fridays and Mondays, I really intended to keep this up, but just can’t. It feels like this sadness, loneliness and total emptiness will never end. I’m listening to 50’s music, which was always a favourite of Linda’s, but making me very sad and crying…..

sending you strength x