Hi All,
I am really struggling, this first year has come around so quickly yet so slowly at the same time. I cannot believe its almost here yet I still feel how I felt last year.
Everyone says it will take time, what no one tells you is how much time.
Lost2021
Hello Julie
I totally understand, it just doesn’t seem to get any easier, although I’m not crying every minute of the day, and thinking very dark thoughts. I finally believe I can continue on through life, as painful, lonely and empty, as this reality is. I think all we can do is pray, that we will slowly learn to live with the pain, I have a friend who lost his wife 3 years ago, and is still suffering. As has been said before, our suffering is the price we pay for the incredible love we shared.
keep strong, will light a candle for you on the 18th June x
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
Hi Lost2121,
I suspect most if not all people on this forum understand exactly how you feel. My feelings are very much as you describe. It is now approaching 8 months since my one true love passed away. We met later in life and had been married just 15 months when she was taken from me on 17/10/21. On the 17th of every month since I simply go to pieces and refuse to see or speak with anyone as he whole day is just filled with anxiety and memories of that day. Then at 9.35pm my emotions take over completely and I literally fall apart holding Sharon’s cremations urn for an hour or so. She was quite literally my life, and I genuinely pray every day that we will be reunited very soon.
I am thankful I have my psychologist to counsel me and I can openly offload everything to him without any fear of judgement. I have two children in their 30’s and a brother who is my rock, but I don’t feel right baring my deepest feelings too them. Each day I wake up and like many of us paint on my face and get through the day best I can and “I’m OK” to people including family and friends, but deep down I know I’m not.
Like you I am totally dreading the 20/7/22 which would have been our 2nd wedding anniversary, our first one was spent in the Christie hospital and Sharon was so upset by this (as was I), and it was difficult to soothe her upset that I don’t remember our 1st anniversary with much happiness. Still life goes on around us, and I can only hope that for me it won’t be too long 
Keep strong and fight as best you can.
Best wishes,
Paul x
