Some days are so lonely

Hi Derek

yes the mornings are the worst, I really have to use every ounce of will power just to get out of bed, once I’ve had a wash and breakfast, which is always Weetabix, I do feel a little better, but then have to think, what do I do with the rest of the day ? We both loved T Rex, or Tyrannosaurus rex, as they were known then, our favourite song, and definitely Linda’s is Lofty skies from Beard of stars, which was played at her funeral, don’t think I’ve hardly listened to any music in the past 9 months, just can’t bear it, too upsetting.

enjoy your dinner

Hi ArthurD. I get my bereavement counselling through the local hospice that had Lin under their care for home visits, so if your Linda was under the care of a local hospice for anytime then you should would contact them.

Derek

Yes been offered

but thought it was face to face, will email them 

thanks

Our one went to Zoom due to Covid and are still doing it. Hope you can sort something out. 

Derek

Hello Del,

My husband passed away this March. I’m very early days on this very unwanted journey. I get the low days. Yesterday I went with his parents to collect his ashes. It felt like I lost him all over again. 
Coming home to an empty house doesn’t help either. I get plenty company during the day, mainly my in-laws. I’m from the US and only ever known his friends and family my short time living here. 

Do you recommend bereavement counseling? I’m torn into signing up. Might be more of the admitting he’s gone part. 
But seems highly recommended by several. 

Hope your days are getting easier to get through. 

Hi Sash85, so sorry for your recent loss. A lot of the first month or so after my Lin died just seemed a blur. Personally I find the bereavement counselling quite helpful and, as I said to my counsellor today, it's a sort of relief valve, a way to unburden myself of some of the grief. I would say give it a try and there is no obligation to do it every week, or continue if you find it too much.

I know that empty house feeling, I get it most days. I feel it first thing when I wake up, when I come back from a walk, and sometimes even just coming in from doing some gardening. I think things may be slowly improving each week but it is barely perceptible.

Stay strong and remember we are all willing to help when you feel down. Sometimes we just need a shoulder to cry on.

Del

Hello

I have kept putting off bereavement counselling, first because I couldn’t see it helping me, and secondly, if I could face it. But as you say, many say it has helped, so I am waiting to find out what options there are, and intend to try it. Spoke to my GP today and he has increased my anti depressant, hate doing it really, because one day I’ll have to manage without, but we all need some form of help during this terrible time.

E are all here for you x

Thanks Del.

I think I will look into getting some grief counseling. It can’t hurt I guess. 

I’m kind of hoping a group like this helps but it’s hard to talk the pain or sadness sometimes. My husbands death was just so hard to witness, I put myself in denial as much as possible. Not sure if that is common too.  

Hello

there is talk about the 5 stages of grief, not sure if I totally hold with it, not for everyone anyway. But, it was some time before I could fully accept my Linda had gone, kept thinking it’s some kind of horrendous nightmare, which I’ll wake up from, eventually I had to accept it, even though there are still times I can’t believe it’s real.

take care of you