You can’t buy what you desire the most …

It is good advice and the same that I say but like you I need to take it myself. Odd how difficult that is! 

This hits home for me. I was widowed at 39 and we had a list of jobs to do around the house. We only managed a couple of things in the 3 years after we bought the place. 
I have literally gone through our job list… 

Damp repair

Driveway

Garden landscaped

Cabin 

Log burner (tomorrow) 

I figured that she would do the same… I love the jobs that have been done, but I feel empty inside when something changes as she’s not here to see it or I have changed something and feel guilty. 

Maybe the tears will flow less often, but not just yet, and probably they will still come in years to come when something triggers a strong memory.  I know that I miss my Gill and will never stop missing her, it's not a time thing, it's a closeness thing, yes we were together for 40 years, but we were soul mates within weeks of meeting - could time be able to numb that special feeling, I very much doubt that centuries of time would make a difference.

Our partners are always with us, they have shaped who we are now, you are not the person you were 10, 20, 30 years ago.  The compromises, and understanding anothers viewpoint has made you a better person, and what about the laughter and experiences you have shared - have they not shaped your outlook ?  This grief will change you, immediately not in a good way, but maybe over time we will all get to better understand others hard times and be able to offer something useful to help.

Sorry sorry just pressed moderator arhhh really didn't mean to arhhhh

why panic?  fairly sure that the moderators are human rather than AI.  To err is human, to really mess up you need AI.  For those who are not computer geeks AI is supposed to be artificial Intelligence - as someone who amongst other things writes software for a living I firmly believe that AI is as good as the worst person to have a hand in it's design - and some of those had a firm idea of cost rather than worth.

If the worst you have done today is pressed the wrong button, then it's been a good day, me I had to shop for clothes, not something that I have had to do for decades - apparently I have no appreciation for colour or fashion.  Maybe they will bring back 70s fashion just for me.

Thanks,

No alarm bells ringing or police come running then?

I think it was big clumsy fingers, on phone screen, trying to scroll down to where I was up to.

I have had an ok day, been to see a memorial garden and bench which is being done in our village for Rob. It's just over a year since he died aged 54 years.i have been asked for ideas of what words should be put on the bench which has given my sleepless nights.

Not sure if should start another thread but been thinking, what happens when I have done everything? I still feel I am "doing for him" end of life care, funeral, ashes inturned, wake, paper work, sorting, the will, solititors PALS and that feels ok, but then what ?

Night 

Donna

The garden and bench are a great idea. The words are hard to choose! I understand the pressure, but in the end whatever you choose it will be fine. Don't think about what anyone else would want to read, make it personal. It's about you and Rob.

I think your question about then what deserves another thread. I've been going back and forth on that. Moving forward with my life, then going back to celebrating Juliette, feeling right about it because it seems to be my duty still to cherish the memory and carry the legacy for the whole world to see. Then I go back to the life without Juliette, moving forward, changes, new encounters, etc. Then back to that little thing that won't bring her back but will make her closer to me, etc. It's a dance really. But I'm sure that it deserves a specific thread!

Take care xx

Antoine

LMAO!!! I've done that once or four times!!! Easy done with my sausage fingers!!! You won't go to Macmillan jail even though it's been a bit on the quiet on this forum  lately

I had a bench put at the cemetery for Colin and it took me weeks to decide on what to have on the plaque. Family and friends wanted to contribute to the bench that had to be provided by the council. I had 'Everlasting Love' for  Colin Dodsworth from friends and family'  and sing the song iften - only 1 friend chipped in so far. I love the bench

I have read through all the replies, and I feel differently, fortunately, I am not short of money, but I can’t see the point in getting a new kitchen, bathroom etc etc, as it’s only me who’ll be using them, it’s all still in  reasonable condition. If Linda were still here, we had discussed replacing things, as almost everything was bought new when the extension was built in 2003, so showing signs of ageing. The only things I will replace is those that are broken, I had a new boiler fitted and front fence, as both were broken. I’ll just take care of the rest as best I can. Instead I have given Money to my Children, which has helped them enormously, brought me much more joy than a new kitchen. Of course we are all different and must do what suits us best. I hope soon to have a holiday with my eldest Son, that will create new memories for me.
take care & keep safe and well