at a loss

Hi Raymonde

I am sorry you have had to join this group. though you are most Welcome.

Its is real days for you, its hard but this time of the year is more  difficult.

You will get a lot of support here, every one truly knows what you are going threw, and how you fill.

You where married a long time a life time, i was married 53years and did not know a life without him, its two years now since he left, its been hard i must emit, i did one day at a time one foot in-front of other. 

I have surprised my self on what i have learnt to do, do not like it, but have done it even sorting out the bills and banking, that was his job.

I do not cry as much, but miss him more now than at the start, i am lost is a better word,

Please use this group it is what helped me to get teo years down the road.

Take Care Ellie xx

Ellie, thank you for your message .It is great to know I can unload  when it is too much to bear. I shall write to you again, It is early days .With love and blessings 

So sorry to hear of your loss. My husband also died at Christmas (28th Dec)! Not an easy time. But you will get there and make new traditions or that is what I have done! 

Take care, one day at a time.

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Hello

I am pleased you managed to find our group, although it’s not really where anyone of us would want to be. You will find support and encouragement here, to help you through the difficult times ahead. I knew my Linda for 51 years, its impossible to think of a life without her.

Please feel free to come on here as often as you need, say anything you want, words don’t always come or flow easily, but that doesn’t matter, just speak how you feel.

take care of yourself

1. My heart goes out to you,this is going to be a rough ride,I'm 3 months into this journey and I didn't think I would get this far but you will, I'm still shaking and think I can't do this but I'm still here still functioning,iv just got used to feeling horrible every day, just push yourself,dont lie in bed as much as you want too,challenge yourself  I'm far from ok but there is nothing to fix our broken hearts but time and the realisation that we have loved and been loved, you will keep going its what our partners would want for us x

I think the one thing iv learned is you can't control grief its just best to experience it let it happen however painful it is x

Hi Raymonde

So sorry to hear of your loss.  My husband also had bile duct cancer, it was diagnosed in the early stages but was inoperable, he died on 15th October almost two years after being diagnosed, we were married 41 years and I miss him so much.

I am afraid of facing the future without him, but we have to live our lives and we have to cope don’t we?

Hi Raymonde

Sorry you’ve found yourself here, I don’t know of any words that will ease the pain your feeling. My husband Mart passed away on the 15th October and I still can’t believe, that’s it, I’ll never see him again. I tried writing a journal, in the hope I would see an improvement in myself but I am finding it too hard to write. After spending a lifetime together, it’s hard but I put one foot in front of the other, cry when I feel the need, and wait for time to pass, as it’s seems the passing of time is the only thing that helps us all get used to feeling this way. 
Big hugs……Linda xx

Well I obviously  have no idea what I'm talking about, for some reason I woke up this morning and just lost it fell apart how long is this going to last I'm so scared 

Hello Jayne

sometimes it just hits us like this, out of the blue, some weeks ago I was so pleased with myself for managing so well, then had weeks of Total devastation. I guess the brain continues processing & controlling the grief, even if we are unaware of it. Then suddenly it lets go and it feels like the world has suddenly ended. I wish, like everyone else on this forum I had answers to give, but I don’t, I try to find out a timescale to when I will be in more control of my emotions, but it varies so much from person to person. My best friend from school is at 3 years and is still really struggling. We all have to find our own way to manage our new reality. I don’t know what stage I am at, but struggle through every day, hoping for night to come, so I can sleep, only then am I at peace, but the whole thing starts again the next morning. I am so blessed that I am retired, I am told having responsibilities helps, but I still just muddle through each day. Most days, including today are simply wasted. All I did today was get a heating  engineer in to look at my broken boiler, was so anxious about him coming round, but was fine when he arrived, its the anticipation thats the problem. But tomorrow I have to go out and get a new central heating pump, fingers crossed that will fix my problem. Also I need some basic shopping, so may do that tomorrow also, or maybe the next day, if I can put something off I will.

I don’t suppose I have helped you at all, mostly all we do is share experiences so that we feel more ‘ normalised’ not the right word I am sure. Grief, especially for spouses, is painful beyond belief, my medications and family help me enormously.

Please do be kind to yourself.

P.S. If you accept my friend request we can also Private message