Truth or Bullsh*t

Dear John,

 I don’t get asked that much but when I do, I just say ‘putting one foot in front of the other’ 

I tend to just open up to my brother and younger sister, they both have experienced the loss of an adult child, so they know, they understand. I do live in a multi generational home, so waking up to a lively 5 year old helps, and I make an effort for both my daughter and granddaughter, don’t know what I’d be like without them. 

It’s hard when you’ve done most things together, I much preferred just being a golfing widow. 

You take care…..Linda 

Hi John

Six months since Ian passed away and I still don’t know how to answer that question. I’ve tried being honest and the look of horror on some people’s faces says it all.

I decided to open up to a neighbour saying how lonely I was and that I was finding everything really difficult.  The reply I got was I’m very busy but can fit you in in a fortnight’s time! That says it all really…

Take care

x Julie

A few days ago I was asked how I was doing and when I replied “To be honest I’m struggling.” The response was “What, still.” Oh dear. Keep safe all. 
June x

Really, people are so bloody disappointing. I almost think we need some very gifted writer, to come up with a one liner, that will make these so insensitive people, sit up and realise what they’ve said, sadly  that  isn’t me. 

After watching the politics earlier, the legalising of cannabis was discussed, maybe if I’m actually asked, I’ll say ‘I’ll be ok once they legalise cannabis’ and watch their faces as they try to answer a 70 year old widow, the shock value would appeal to my weird sense of humour, I hasten to add it’s not because of the influence of any drugs, well apart from the antibiotics I’m currently on for an ear and chest infection.
Sorry if I’ve caused any offence, sometimes people’s unnecessary words and actions really annoy me.

All my best…….Linda x

People really don’t understand do they.  Losing parents isn’t the same, I know because I have lost both.  Losing you life partner is indescribable to anyone who has not experienced it.  
It is only two months since I lost my husband. How am I doing? Just taking each day as it comes …..

Dear Julie,

You have shared your story with people that care and feel your pain.

Bite your time, in a few months time the idiot may need your help.

I can think of two great words to add in front of off.

I am sure you know what I mean.

Stay safe.

John.

Thank you.

Stay safe.

John.

I think we all know too well that lots of people ask to try and be polite but don't really want to get more involved than that. I have opened up to a few not so close people in the middle of the street and saw them weep. Well they asked, what did they expect?!

On the other side of things, being miserable and lonely has actually forced me to reach out a bit more and I have developed super strong connections with people I didn't really know that much before. I'm much more aware of struggling friends than I was when Juliette was still here. I know that part of it is me trying to care once more for anyone else but me, but it has lead to very interesting chats with people who actually are willing to listen.

And of course, this forum is the best place to find like-minded people and I'm so grateful for it.

Xx

Thankfully I have never been asked this. But I hope I would be tolerant enough to accept that some people just don’t know what to say. There could be worse things that could be said. I do realise saying “How are you” is an inane question, but it’s obviously genuine concern, not everyone knows what to say, I certainly don’t, and perhaps I should do.

keep safe & well

I have actually grown a lot closer to my children and sister in laws through this God awful time. Sharing grief and emotion, remembering the good times. It all helps us in the healing process, which I feel is going to be very slow. I guess my whole world was my Linda, although I was still in touch with family, I really didn’t feel I needed anyone else, just my Linda. I am so lucky to have a loving caring family, I have leant on them and them on me.