The last goodbye, not sure I can manage it !

You have written word for word what I would say,but I promise you will get through this day marks funeral was probably one of the bests days iv had throughout this awful mess,being surrounded by people who loved and liked him as much as I did was so comforting,I also chose a non religious ceremony I had a celebrant,I had poems instead of prayers and songs instead of hymns, we never discussed what he would like as we both were in denial that the day would come,but I got through it and I know I did him proud and I'm a useless wreck at the moment,so good luck we will all be thinking of you.

Hello Paul. 

I was dreading my husbands funeral which was held in COVID days but someone said to me that it was the last thing I could do for him so I sleep walked through it for him. It was none religious with a celebrant but when it came to the eulogy I suddenly realised that only I could deliver it as he would have liked so I stood up and delivered the eulogy to the ten guests who were allowed to be there.

incidentally it wasn’t the last thing I did for him - every day I do something for him by being brave, walking the dog , tending the garden etc etc. I will do things for him forever because he was amazing.

His name is Gordon. Best wishes for today and every other day.

June 

good luck today.  You will be surrounded by people who are there for you and to celebrate Sharon’s life.

You will get through the day.

Hi Paul,

sending virtual strength to you for today, your friends will support you through this day & Im sure will share many wonderful stories xx

Hi Paul. 
Only just read your post so by now you will have got through the funeral and I hope that you can now get some sleep. I know I did after my husbands. By 8 30 I was exhausted and slept until nearly 7 the next morning (longest I’ve slept for a very long time ) I too was so apprehensive before the day of the funeral and wondered how on earth I would cope with knowing that was the last day I would be with him and that I would have to leave him behind in the crematorium. However, there was such an outpouring of love that it was actually a “good” day. I guess we are “lucky” that we didn’t have to bear lockdown funerals. The crematorium was jam packed with family and friends who all told me lovely stories about Dave. 
the Celebrant  also said one thing that really resonated with me - the only way to have avoided the sadness of losing Dave would have been for me to have never met him in the first place, so I’m really trying now to focus on the wonderful years that we had together. It doesn’t always work but sometimes it does. I also have a framed photo of Dave on the table next to the sofa so that when i sit for a cuppa I can have a little chat to him.

Thinking of you and hoping today went as well as it could have x 

Hi Jillybean and others,

well I survived the worst day of my life. Of course it was very emotional (I’ve always been very emotional), I was OK until the hearse pulled up outside and it hit me like a brick wall. Thankfully my best mate has some medical training as I started hyperventilating and he and my brother helped me outside. The hearse door was open as requested and I just grabbed the coffin, broke down begging Sharon to come back, and had to be pulled away and helped into the car. It was a lovely sunny day so I wore my sunglasses which helped me feel I was hiding my overwhelming emotion. Arriving at the crem and seeing all the people there set me off again and was helped into my seat. Everyone says the service was perfect (humanist) who did an excellent job presenting a story of Sharon’s life and our wonderful 6 years together. My emotion eased when our songs were played because I could mime the words, You make me feel brand new - Simply Red, and You’re the best thing that ever happened to me - Gladys Knight we saw both cats live together. The readings were a poem Sharon wrote for our first Valentines Day, and two poems I wrote for Sharon on different occasions. The service ended with the music “Marietta’s Lied” (leed) played by Nicola Benedetti which was perfect. (If you haven’t heard it before try and listen to it on line.

after the service I did feel a huge relief that the service had gone well as did the refreshments later. I slept well (sleeping tablet assisted) now I’m packing for a week n an isolated cottage in Wales with my brother and his partner and our dogs.

I too have a framed photo of Sharon on my TV unit by which I light a candle every night , so I feel she is with me and we can chat and watch tv like we used to.

RIP my darling I will love you always and forever, see you again soon hopefully xxxx

Paul

Hi Paul. I’m glad to hear that you got through the day. It sounds like the day you organised for your lovely Sharon was beautiful with poems and music that meant so much to you both. I found Marrietas Lied on YouTube and loved it. My husband was a guitarist so the music we had were some of his favourite things to play Parisienne Walkways (Gary Moore) Samba Pa Ti (Santana) and The boys are back in town (Thin Lizzy) Not your usual songs for a funeral but they meant a lot to us. I had to draw the line at playing our song - Thank you for loving me by Bon Jovi as it would’ve been the undoing of me. It’s not a well known song as it’s an album track but the words are amazing and as soon as we heard it it became our song. 
I hope you manage to find a little solace in Wales but just remember that Sharon will always be in your heart so she is never far away x

Well done Paul for yesterday, the way you have described the day I’m sure Sharon would of loved it. I too have yet to get through this day 15th for me.  Retreating to Wales equally sounds lovely I have been thinking along similar lines I hope you get some rest in your week away your brother seems to be an amazing support for you xx

I saw this on a fb page and thought how beautiful the words are. I hope you can all see it 

Gary Sturgis - “Surviving Grief”

Hello Paul, I’m so glad it went well and you got through the day.  i’m sure it was perfect for Sharon.

i wish I had done something similar after Robs funeral, I waited a couple of weeks and my daughter and I went for a week in the sun.

Take care and remember Sharon is with you.

Glenis