Really struggling today

I had a load of untouched packets of Complan in the cupboard where I tried to get Rob to have some sort of food.  i put them on our local village community page and they were snapped up for somebody who has cancer in the village and not eating…..sounds familiar?

Ive also got some tins of spring vegetable soup that Rob liked (i don’t) and tins of custard ( have a dairy intolerance) it was anything to get him to have something in side him,  doing my stint at foodbank on Tuesday and will take them there.

have a good evening all of you if you can, i’ve got nothing planned tonight but looking at a house tomorrow and then having lunch with my daughter as she’s 23 on Sunday.

Glenis 

Hello

This is such a familiar story about cupboards full of things bought especially to tempt/ build up our loved ones. I had Frosties, fig biscuits  (), fish fingers, semolina, sago, tinned rice pudding, plus coffee mate which I’d been sneaking into his coffee to try and build up Chris’ strength! Most of it went to a food bank. 
I still struggle when I see Frosties in the supermarket- they were almost impossible to get during lockdown. But at least I don’t cry any more!

Sending hugs

Jane

xx

Hi 

At least we can get a little comfort knowing that the items are going to good use at the Foodbanks. I think I’d feel so much worse if I just had th throw it away 

Small steps! X

I hope you all don’t mind me reaching out here. After reading through all your posts, I can see you know how I’m feeling. My husband Mart passed away 15th October, we had the service on the 4th Nov, and I’m really struggling. We were together for 48 years, so I can’t remember a time without him. 

Why would we mind? We are all in the same boat and this exactly what this forum is for- so that we can support each other. I can’t imagine how hard it just be after 48 years together. I was with my husband for 26 years (half of my life) and even I struggle to remember a time without him 

Hugs 

Jillian x

I suspect what’s pushing me a bit too far into the black hole, is that Mart’s brother and his brother in law, tested positive for Covid 2 days before service. I said to my sister in law and her sister they should do a pcr and isolate from their husbands, if they wanted to attend. I know I’m at a low point, I’ve been on antibiotics for chest infection for 2 weeks, I had to think of what’s best for everyone else attending, I have a daughter and granddaughter who live with me, they need my financial and emotional support. Since then, she’s ignored my tearful messages, that we should talk about it, At a time when I’m at my lowest, someone who I love has put her own grief and angry before me. I don’t understand, I still think I did the right thing. I organised a webcast of service to try to help them. Oh I don’t know what to think or do. My daughter says I should stop thinking of everyone else and think of myself….but habits of a lifetime are hard to break. Sorry it’s turned into war and peace xx

Hi. You definitely did the right thing in the circumstances and I’m sure I’m time your relatives will come to realise that they are being unfair. I fully understand that it’s hard to think of yourself first as I am also that person who takes care of everyone else before myself   , but you really must. Yes they have lost a loved one but he was your husband. And surely they can see that this would not have been a decision you made lightly. They chose not to isolate or do the tests so ultimately they made the decision not you. 
Spend time with the people that are supporting YOU. 

Take care. X x x

Thanks for the support, it does help and I know if I had to decide again, I say the same xx

Yes that's so true. When my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2003, the protocl was first line, second line and third line hormone treatment with perhaps radiation at some stage during that time and chemotherapy was left to last because of its aggressiveness. Nowadays, the thinking has changed and chemotherapy is given very early on and the hormone treatments later. Research has shown that prostate cancer patients who receive longterm hormone treatment are more inclined to have very aggressive secondary cancers later on. So yes a lot has advanced and changed for many cancers but some are still the same as a long time ago.

Love Mel