It’s 12 weeks to the day that I lost the love of my life. I feel more desperate, lonely, sad and confused now than I did last week and the week before. I need to try and find some kind of work as I gave my business up to care for my Maureen during covid. But I have lost all ambition or motivation too do anything. Why is this so hard ? I have her ashes home now and find myself just sitting and talking to a wooden box. The tears just don’t stop. I knew it was going to be hard but this is so much worse than I ever imagined it could be. Can’t see anyway of moving forward or any point. I really feel I’ve just had enough.
Hi Ivy
Thanks for your reply, I do read them just takes me time to reply.
my heart goes out to you and your children.
I try to stay busy, then feel guilty that I haven’t cried for 10 minutes.
Take care Ivy
jon x
Hello
i am or should I say was in a very similar position, couldn’t see the point in anything, just kept crying, no motivation etc etc, luckily I am retired, so do t have the pressure of work, family have been very supportive. I didn’t want anti depressants, but the DR put me on Citalopram 10mg, helped a little, but still had the utter despair and anxiety and depression, after 3 weeks he increased it to 20mg, which is the max as I am over 60. But it’s made such a change. Of course I am still totally sad, but am keeping my head above water and the depression anxiety has subsided a lot. Mornings are the worse, I wake up with severe nausea and anxiety, the thought of facing another day no doubt, living on my own doesn’t help, nothing to fill my day. I take metachlopromide for the nausea which helps, if I take one at around 4am if I wake to go to the toilet, it makes it easier when I wake up. I generally stay in bed till 10am then go down have tea and cereal and go back to bed for a dozen till lunchtime. By the afternoon I start feeling better, nausea goes mostly. Meal times are difficult for me, especially lucnch, I now just have marmalade on toast for lunch. Everyone says it will get easier, and it feels like it never will, but see your GP and get some help. I have also emailed the Samaritans, very sympathetic. Also well-being, social prescribing etc. I signed up for all the support I could find, haven’t yet managed to go to a coffee char Etc. But hope to get the courage. It’s so so tough, I feel for you I really do, I know the pain first hand, as you say no one would believe how much it hurts. Another thing I tried is I downloaded some meditation relaxation music, sit back eyes shut in a darkened room and just listen, you will cry but may get some peace. I have only just started, so once the collection is complete I can post you a link to it in a private message, once you accept my friend request.
Hang in there, your situation will improve, hope I have given you some ideas.
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
There’s nothing at all unhealthy about talking to your Wife, she is in your heart and soul and always will be, I constantly talk to my Wife sometimes have a laugh at something she would feel silly. It’s normal and I think healthy….good luck
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
Hi there,
I recognise the nausea and the anxiety that you are talking about, not just from early on three and a half years ago but also from a couple of weeks ago when I was feeling very low. I went to a massage therapist whom I really trust and told her about it all. She said that she felt that my nervous system was very stressed and that therefore I wasn't able to get any relaxation into my system, something that I think was very true. So how about if you book yourself something nice like a massage or maybe an aroma therapy treatment or just something to pamper yourself. I know this may be very far from your mind right now but I do believe it helps because it rebalances us and gives us relaxation that alone we sometimes cannot find.
I was surprised to read that you are on metachlopromide for your nausea. Personally I thought that this is a medication mostly given to cancer patients when undergoing chemo or radiation. But of course I am not a medical professional so don't really know...
I think it is good to take an antidepressant. I take 10 mg of Lexapro and I wouldn't want to be without it. I also take sleeping tablets and I could not be without them and would not want to be because they help me get a full night of sleep which I feel I really need.
I suppose we are all trying to do our best in a very difficult situation. But what I have learned is to really make sure that we do proper self-care is very important because it makes a difference.
Lots of love Mel
I don't like the term "moving on" because it sounds to me like we are leaving our loved ones and the life we had with them behind. I like the term "moving forward" as it implies that, while life goes on, our loved ones are still with us in our hearts and minds.
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