can anyone suggest reading material to help me in my grief?

Nice words po18guy

po18guy, I agree with Jonta. Your words are amazing.

Regarding  books, I have just received a book I did order, thank you here.I read a bit on-line to see if it could be good for me.... Glad that I have it. '' It's OK that you're not OK ''  by Megan Divine. I have not had time to look at it properly, but it seems very helpful to me.

Limbo, I want to thank you so much. The book 'It's ok that you're not ok' by Megan Devine is so good for me. I can only read a bit at a time. I find that she puts into words what I have been thinking, and it is such a relief to read her  .It is so supportive and helpful   It clarifies things for me.   And it validates where I am in my grief and distress and loss   It take away some of the worry about 'am I doing well???' [ a result of pressure from others...] which is so unhelpful, I know, but that has been an extra worry, which she helps with.  Thank you very much. I realise how individual we all are. This book is just right for me now. Thank you.

Hi Happy5,

I'm glad you're finding the book useful. It's a book that I would have loved to have read in the early stages of my grief. I think I read it after my first year but it still resonated with me and offered me a sort of respite as I wasn't in a very good place at that time either. 

Not only do we have to deal with the pain and loss but we also feel guilty as if we weren't making enough "progress". That's why this site is so good. The way I see it is, this our time. We have faced the worst thing in life and we will cope with it at our own pace and nobody  can tell us what we should or shouldn't do at a particular point in time.

So, yes, go slowly ,if that's what you think is right for you and I hope the book will continue to provide you with some comfort.

I would like to post here something which has helped me for the last months. It is from an American Hospice site, hrrv.org, Hospice Red River Valley,. They called them New Year Resolutions, but really they are just very helpful words. There are so many different sites.I find myself returning to this list so often.

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'' Perhaps it would be fitting to consider a different sort of New Year’s resolution—a set of suggestions suited especially for those who are entering a season of their lives grieving someone whom they loved. Such a set of resolutions might look like this:

• I resolve to not place time limits on my grief; it will take as long as it takes.
• I resolve to acknowledge my grief as my own—that it is as individual as I am—and will take shape in its own unique way.
• I resolve to be mindful of the need for flexibility when it comes to the expectations of others (and myself).
• I resolve to not be pressured by “shoulds.”
• I resolve to cut myself some slack when I am not as productive as I might like, behave in ways uncharacteristic of my usual self or simply “don’t care.”
• I resolve to accept that others may not understand my pain, and it is probably not realistic to expect that of them. (Until one has walked the path, how can one know the terrain?)
• I resolve to express my feelings without guilt, and not apologize for tears.
• I resolve to be grateful for concerned others who willingly just listen.
• I resolve to recognize that my acceptance of assistance and support of others allows them the blessing of giving.
• I resolve to forgive those who say or do that which feels hurtful, recognizing that unkindness is not intended.
• I resolve to extend to myself the same grace and patience I would to others, were they in my situation.
• I resolve to find some little way each day to begin to reinvest in life, in an effort to move toward hope and a sense of purpose.
• I resolve to continue to speak my loved one’s name, tell our stories and embrace my memories.

Whether or not you are one to make resolutions, it is our hope that one or more of these thoughts will resonate with you. Turning the page to begin a new year, you can be resolute as you move forward in your season of grief.''

Thank you for sharing this, Happy5. 
Jane

xx

I just saw how many people have looked at this site. Maybe some of you can suggest other things for us all to read?

I have seen a 'Healing Giref Card Pack' by David Kessler advertised, but I have no idea of what it is. I have seen his videos, and I find him very helpful though  I have not read his books....Also Julia Samuel.  Their books on grief may help people...

I am now one year and 16 days on from losing my dearest husband. There are changes, I do realise. But I am still reading, picking up a book and finding passages which I did not want earlier, but which help me now. I don't have any new books to add, regretfully. I just don't seem to have the energy that I used to have, over a year ago. The phrase about accepting that we will always have grief, but we will learn to live with it , is what helps me a lot at the moment. Love to you all, Happy5.

Hello Happy5
Two books which I have by the side of my bed are The Madness of Grief by Rev Richard Coles and Good Grief by Catherine Mayer. I have to confess that I haven’t been able to read more than a couple of pages of each but I do feel that they will both be helpful for me to dip into.

Its 40 weeks for me tonight but also 47 years since our first date….so I’m struggling a bit. Like you, I often feel exhausted without doing much. But I try not to get too annoyed with myself and accept that it’s part of the process. 

I think the idea of learning to live with the grief is a helpful thought- I think I’ll be hanging on to that quite a bit over the coming weeks. Thank you

Take care, sending hugs

Jane

xx

Just realised I’d mentioned these books in a previous reply on this thread. Sorry x

Seven Choices: Finding Daylight after Loss Shatters Your World

Dear NelliJ, Thank you so much. I'm still grateful for any suggestions. I can pick up a book, whenever I want to, it is 'there', unlike searching on Google....or that is what I feel, anyway. I'm really grateful for any suggestion, thank you so much!

I also just found out that the C.S.Lewis book, A Grief Observed, is out of copyright and can be read on-line. I can't remember, maybe it was via Gutenberg, but it's all there to read. It is not too long.

Thank you again,     Happy5