can anyone suggest reading material to help me in my grief?

Hi happy5

so sorry for your loss. 
my husband went in June so just before yours. Hard isn’t it.

I am not sure what reading material you mean.  I googled about grief, did help me as my husband was the first person I lost, lucky to have all siblings, parents and close friends etc still here.

it helped to understand how grief works although all of us react differently it made me realise I was not going mad and that if I want to bring his ashes to the bedroom at night and then back to the lounge in the morning then that is fine. As well as lots of different things I do. I speak to him all the time, sometimes when I pick up his teardrop urn I say “goodness babe, you been sneaking into the kitchen and eating all the cookies again”! (Urn is extremely heavy) LOL

so I can only recommend google and browse through. Something may catch your attention.

sorry for going on and if it was not quite what you wanted.

Thank you so much, Forever Autumn.

You have been so helpful. It makes me feel a bit more 'normal' in my own grief. I have lost both my own lovely parents, but this is different. It helps to hear what others are going through, it makes me  feel a bit more 'normal' in my own grief and unhappiness. The children-two grown-up daughters- would love me to cope better, I think...., but tears are healthy, I feel. I will try to google again. It is just so hard at times.And, as someone here said, if you have not been there you don't really understand. The loss of a husband/partner is devastating. Fiends try, but they can be so far off the mark, and that can hurt also, even though I do try to understand them and their limitations. 

I'd still be grateful if anyone can point me in any specific directions, for healing things to read at times, even though it is all so individual....

Hi there

The pain of losing your partner is so different from any other. I too have lost both of my parents but when my husband passed away 15 weeks ago I never envisaged how horrendous it would be and continues to be.

I am devastated, list, scared and sad. I miss him so much and sometimes still can't believe he's gone. I also cry a lot, I think more now than I used to. But as you say tears are healthy.

I was recommended a book when I first lost John called Overcoming Grief by Sue Morris. I think I bought a used copy from Amazon, so it wasn't expensive.

I read it in those first weeks and found it easy to read and it made sense of how I was feeling. I have just gone back to reread it as I am struggling at the moment and it is helping again.

If you google the book, like I did initially you will get a better idea of whether it is for you.

Xx

Hi Happy5

 The books I liked were It's Okay That You're Not OKay by Megan Devine and A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. Both concern the loss of a spouse. In my very early days (over 2 years for me now), I read On Grief and Grieving by Kubler-Ross, which helped me know I was not going mad.

I don't think there's anything worse than the pain of grief. We all know how you feel and we're all sorry you're going through this. It's not much consolation but sometimes it just helps to know there are other people who understand.

I can't say if the books helped me but, as I said before, reading kept me sane.

Take care of yourself.

I’ve read quite a few books about grief: Grieving the loss of a loved one, Stephen McAllister, Widow to Widow, Grief& loss will the pain ever end?, When your soulmate dies, The grief book, not sure if they’ve helped me but some suggestions for you x 

Thank you all so much. I think that I hope that even one sentence which is 'right' for me may help with the awfulness of it all.  I stay up late, because there is no-one to ask me to come and get into bed, and I hope that reading may help then. Also, reading has helped me at times to feel 'normal' in the awfulness of the loss...I found that if you look up a book on Amazon, and wait a few seconds, usually you can 'look inside' and read a few pages to see if the book may be good for you or not. It has been very helpful at times.

As Limbo says, it is a great help to hear from other people, and you all seem to understand me. It is such a comfort, thank you all.

Thank you so much. I am grateful for every name, title , author, of any books.

Although it may sounds like an unusual source - or maybe not - Fr. Benedict Groeschel C.F.R. wrote a comforting book entitled "Arise from Darkness", subtitled "What to Do When Life Doesn't Make Sense"  He was a Franciscan Friar, Priest, and clinical psychologist. He had a near death experience, being clinically dead for 40 some minutes after being struck by a car. Suffering he knows. Grief as well. 

www.goodreads.com/.../152345.Arise_from_Darkness

Hi Happy5,

I’m so sorry for your loss and the sadness that goes with it, it truly is unbearable and like you I’m also desperate for some help in any shape or form that will help me get through these very sad times. My 91 year old aunty recommended this book to me after she lost her husband about 25 years ago and it helped her to cope with her grief.

I read this book this morning and it only took about 20 minutes to read, so you may think what’s the point?

But I think sometimes books and paraphernalia about this subject can be over complicated by long drawn out paragraphs and sometimes simplicity works. So I’d recommend reading this book.

Living Through Grief: Strength and Hope in Time of Loss which is a Book by Harold Bauman

Below is a preview of the book and the copyright dates back to 1960. There are references in the book to the bible and to the Gospel of John and Jesus, but if your’e not religious you don’t have to read those bits but they are poignant and definitely relate to grief.

https://books.google.co.uk/books/about/Living_Through_Grief.html?id=UbHOBAAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=kp_read_button&newbks=1&newbks_redir=1&redir_esc=y

I do hope we all find peace one day, and I know we’ll never get over the loss of our soulmates but I do hope our pain lessens in time as the hurt is just too much to bear sometimes, take care Ian x

Dear Jonta,

I am so sorry for your loss in turn. Thank you for the book. Yes, I have a religious part to me. All religions have help within them. But...the pain and the grief come, sometimes in waves, sometimes in sharp, piercing overwhelming attacks. In between there is some relief, but for how long, one never knows. The posts here do help me to feel a lot better, not alone, not 'unusual'. Thank you, and may you find comfort  yourself ..

Dear po18guy, Thank you also for your book recommendation.

Is the report of cancer below all from you yourself? It seems so much for one person to endure....If it is you, may you find strength from all of us for your brave fight. Forgive me if this is the wrong word.to use.

Your sentence,  'Suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us'   is such a noble sentence.

May you retain that brave hope, in the face of all the adversity.