Feel like right back at the beginning

I’m sorry I’m only reading this 10hrs after sending but I do hope you’re ok. 
It’s so bloody hard!!! Xx

The paperwork is never ending and it’s a constant thing all day repeating yourself about your loved ones death. I’ve never said his name so many times. 
I’m worrying about the fact I’m not back at work yet and it’s only 3.5 weeks since Dave passed. ...even now, writing that I still can’t wrap my head around it! 
I work for myself but my clients won’t wait forever. 

You’re right, people don’t get it. Only if you’ve lived it can you truly understand! 
We have all been through a trauma. In the way we lost our loved ones then the heartbreaking pain we feel at our loss. 

I can only echo that we have to ‘try’ to be kind to ourselves the best we can. 
xx

I was totally overwhelmed by the paperwork and had a complete meltdown when repeating the same grim information again and again either online or in phone calls. I decided then that I would limit myself to just tackling one or two things each day, make notes in a notebook of who I’d spoken to etc and what the next steps were. It was the only way I got through those early days. Even now, 5 months on there are still a couple of things to sort out but I needed probate for that. 
Take care

Jane

xx

I actually got scared last Friday thinking the paperwork was drying up and ...then what?? But realised how wrong I was this week. 

Watched a man drive away in my old Mini Cooper tonight... yesterday bought a brand new Fiat and cried the whole time. Just Dave’s Ford to be picked up by the finance company then that’s car issues sorted. It all breaks me. 

Took Leo for walk today and did better than yesterday’s route! Yesterday cried the whole walk (mine & Dave’s walk; especially since covid) today managed to cry only half the walk!’

Much strength to all. Xx 

Oh Donna! 

I know the feeling only too well, it's mad, isn't it, the stupid little things we used to take in our stride that can now reduce us to a blubbering mess. 

But still I find humour in it all, I can't help it.

I think you are all fabulous even contemplating going back to work - Seriously, well done!

Love, Sue xx

Sunsarah,

Like Donna I don't really have any advice for you, I wish I did, but please just know that you're thought of.

Sending a hug and wishes for a smoother day to follow, Eryn xx

MP, I totally get what you're saying about the car situation  - it took me 18 months to work up the courage to get Claire's car taken away. Silly how a lump of metal can take on so much of someone's personality - I thinks it's all the memories wrapped up in things like driving holidays, trips to favourite places, carting of furniture, house moves, even hours spent on the side of the road waiting for the AA.

Every step, every change, every letting go hurts like mad. But you've done another thing that needed doing, you won't ever have to do that task again. Kudos, you deserve a moment to congratulate yourself for that.

I hope you can enjoy the new car in time.

Strength to you and Leo, Eryn xx

Thank you Eryn, lovely words and mean a lot to hear them. 

Leo thanks you too, he’s fast asleep on my feet keeping them nice and cosy warm. 
xx

Thank goodness for the ‘Leo’s’ in our lives (mine’s an Ivy). They keep us sane eh? Xx

Sure do. We lost Daves old dog back in Oct and we were trying to decide what pet to get... 

I was thinking a kitten but now I’m on my own I think a puppy might be better... Leo’s my test for two weeks. It’s been three days and I’m loving him. 
xx