Being lonely

Hi all 

the loneliness is really hard to describe 

like you all it’s the chatter about nothing or the important things and I like a good rant or moan and Keith would listen and make everything ok this week for me has been really highlighted as returned to work and coming home not being able to share is really tough i feel like I am just watching what goes on in the world but not a part of it it’s definitely a big effort which is emotionally draining I have some life long friends they are great but I have tended to only meet a couple it just doesn’t stop the feelings 

big virtual hugs to you all xx 

We’ve had cats in the past to be fair, but when we lost the last one said never again. But didn’t reckon on this! Xx

Yes, I agree! I wouldn't be without my dog, he has been my reason for getting out of bed since this nightmare began. I find that walking him helps clear my head.

It certainly helps to hear him breathing when he's asleep on my bed at night, it helps me feel not so alone. Xx

Hi

Sorry I haven't contributed last week or so, been really struggling.

I don't always feel I have anything to say or sometimes the energy to type it, or think I will do it later, I flat, low and empty. I do get up each day, see to the dog and function the best I can, I have returned to work a little this week.  I sleep ok, but are exhausted.

Wheels another day I will fill you in on some work I did for bereaved children, I was 11 when my mum died so are passionate about support for them.

But today was just going to say I had a conversation with somebody about lock down, your post says it all, so is it lonely or alone ? Or both?

Just food for thought for now.

Love Donna

Hello Donna

Sorry to hear that you’re struggling- remember to take things at a pace that’s right for you. And I’m trying not to worry about the c**p days, just to accept that they happen and the next one might be better. 

Yes I wondered about lonely and alone! Still pondering though- not reached any real conclusion.

Take care, hugs

Jane

xx

Hi Donna,

Really sorry to hear you've been struggling. I have been struggling more recently, I think it's because the six month mark feels very significant.

I'd be really interested in the work you've done with children.   My youngest was 11 (now 12).  He wants no help from any professionals and seems to get all he needs from his friends. On the surface he's fine and seemed to have is problems whilst he watched Beth go through everything.  My eldest at 15 is the very different,  he has a social worker and music therapist. 

hummmm,   lonely or alone.  I think for me it's about feeling lonely.  I'm not actually on my own for that long and sometimes I don't mind it at the moment. 

take care of yourself :) 

Hello all x It's nearly a year now and I am not lonely in the way you describe - I never look across and expect to find him anywhere. I am conscious every minute that Andy is not here, which is why it's so difficult at times to do anything at all because he's not here to share it with - so why bother? Now - here's where it gets really strange - at the same time, I am doing everything as if he were here. I am doing everything with him in mind, for him, and it's almost like I am punishing myself by coping REALLY WELL!  Carl, you have lost someone intertwined with you, as have we all - the rest is still there, those other lovely people. I am glad I had my Andy, even for a while. "Had we never loved sae kindly, Had we never loved sae blindly, Nor never met, nor never parted, We would never have been sae broken-hearted"Love to you all xx

I totally understand what you're saying. It's such a relief to know I'm not the only one, although I'm sorry to know there is someone feeling the same as I do. I feel like I've kind of 'fallen out of the world' without Claire. A very strange existence indeed. E.

I think ‘Fallen our of the world’ is a really good way of putting it, that’s what I feel like.  At 44 now, I had 24 years without Beth, 20 amazing years with her and now I kind of feel like I’m floating not knowing what is going to happen next. Sort of waiting on the edge looking. Thankfully I have my two wonderful boys to focus on and that gives me a purpose. 

20 years, that's fantastic and two great kids as well. I'm pleased you have purpose, I really think it makes a difference. And I totally get what you mean about floating - it's a weird limbo eh? It's like having a layer of bubble wrap between yourself and reality, nothing's quite tangible. I imagine there are many of us waiting on the edge looking, it's kind of comforting to know that we're doing it all together in a way. What do they say - forward is forward, no matter how slowly. Hang in there Wheels.