Being lonely

Hello again Wheels, 

You’re so right- it’s all those little things that wouldn’t mean anything to anyone else. I really miss someone asking me what I’d found out or been talking about when I met up with friends, and I seem to constantly be thinking I must tell Chris that. Like you I have a really supportive network of friends who are keeping in touch in whatever way they can in these strange times and who meet me for yet another socially distanced walk round the park! But it doesn’t stop that ache of being lonely. I don’t know what the answer is, or if there is one but I wanted you to know that I know exactly what you mean and I share the pain- and I’m sure I’m not the only one on here.

Hope you manage to get some sleep. Sometimes sharing your thoughts on here helps with that

Jane

x

Hi Carl and Jane,

My hubby and I didn’t really have many friends (can you hear those violins?). We were each other’s best friend and literally did everything together, and just never felt the need to have much more than that. We did have a few friends but not what I would call close, and I guess both of us could be a little anti social and were quite happy in our own company. I guess in that way it has backfired on me somewhat. 

But I think whether I had one friend or a hundred friends, I would still feel as lonely. I am making an effort to stay in touch with friends and even make more as I’m sure I will need them in time, but to be honest I could be in a room packed full of people but would still be missing the one person who I really want to talk to.

It is certainly the little things, something funny that might happen during the day, commenting on something on TV, shared silly jokes and phrases that no one else would get. I often turn to share those moments with Clive and then remember it’s just me sitting on the sofa now.

Julie x

Hello Julie

i certainly agree with being in a crowded room and missing the one most important person. It’s one of the things I’m dreading about lockdown ending. I can just about cope with seeing one friend at a time but I’m not sure I’m ready to see a group, even if it is only five friends. This loneliness is a horrid feeling.

And I’ve looked across at Chris’ spot on the sofa to tell him something and wondered for a brief moment why he’s not there. 
The irony is he had no idea how much he’d be missed, he really didn’t. 
Jane

xx

Hi Everyone wheels and all here.

 Yes i   to feel the same the loneliness sometimes is awful, Vic and i had , i still have a two couples of long term,  iver 40 years of friends,  our children grew up together and we became grandparents around the same time, they have been amazing,  and i have an extremely close family, but as you say its the little moments that you share as a couple,  i miss that a lot , the pillow talk , little chats , things we experienced that day small special things that were for us alone, so even though I'm surrounded by friends and family,  yes im lonely. Take care x

Sorry for mistakes 

Oh gosh,  in an awful way I’m pleased that I’m not alone although I feel for you all.  YES!  I too often think ‘I must tell Beth that’ and it then makes me sad that I can’t!  I also look across to the other sofa on a night when the boys are in bed,  sometime I just say what I was going to say anyway and hope that Beth can still hear me.

Jane – Like you,  the lockdown ending is something that I’m concerned about.  I’ve had my first invite to a garden get together,  my first reaction was ‘oh yes we can have six people in a garden so that will be fine’,  I only realised yesterday that I counted Beth!  There will only be five people. Our friendship group is all couples/families and I’m now going to be there on my own.   The parties,  the days out and weekends away.  It was all so much fun before,  but now I'm dreading it! 

I feel exactly the same. Dreading lockdown ending in a way, everybody looking forward to socialising, mostly couples...

I will really miss sitting in the garden with my husband in the evening, just chatting about everything and nothing. I have great friends and family but at the end of the day I am alone and nobody can replace my soul mate.  

I am grateful that I have my dog to chat to, he must think I'm mad.

I've never felt so alone in my life.

Take care x

Seriously considering getting a cat to talk to! 
xx

Hello All on this feed. 

Yet again someone starts a conversation and we ALL totally relate. It’s heartbreaking, it’s helpful, all at the same time.

I can’t really expand on what’s been said so well already by you all but I can thank you for sharing. I do feel exactly the same. 

Like you Julie, Dave and I didn’t really have a group of friends as a couple. I had my pals he the odd one but to be honest we were just so close we didn’t need anyone else; rightly or wrongly. 

This is why our pain is so strong. We’ve lost ‘our other half’. Other family members, including children and friends we love so much but it’s simply a different love, a different shared time on this earth. Nothing is quite like that ‘partners’ love if it’s the right one and all of us on here DID have ‘the right one’ or we wouldn’t be on here in the first place.

I want to say to us all how lucky we were to have had that!!! I want to say it, because I know it’s right but I’m still to early on in this to believe that fully in my heart, it’s still too painful, too much anger right now but I do hope to feel it...eventually 

xx

Do! They are wonderful creatures. You need to own one to really know! xx