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P.S. He also acquired pneumonia while in hospital. They still refused him a respirator ("end of life") but he battled with that and won all on his own. His reward was to be taken out of his room and put onto the general ward.x

You rant wherever you like, whenever you like. We are all here!! 

That’s a lot to take in for you. There are a lot of similar situations due to covid and it’s so hard to wrap your head around. Cancer didn’t stop raging through people when covid hit but because you can’t ‘catch’ cancer sat next to someone on a bus all common sense went out the window! 

Yes, feel free to rant on here. Covid has caused so many additional problems and situations to those who weren’t actually suffering from it. In my case, it meant that I spent less than eight hours with Chris in his last ten days and I wasn’t there at the end. We did speak on the phone several times a day but as one of his symptoms was a loss of his voice, he had thyroid cancer, that was far from ideal. And to be honest he never liked talking on the phone at the best of times! 
Take care, sending hugs

Jane

xx

Thanks MP xx I know it doesn't really matter how he died, in many ways, because the outcome is the same - he's not here. I have a little laugh at myself sometimes when I am thinking in strange ways about how we are suffering because of  the effects of cancer on our loved ones, not covid and then realise that the suffering is the same no matter what caused the death. I swear, sometimes I stupidly feel jealous of those who died of cv19 because they "count" even if it's one of the statistics we see every night. Then of course, I feel incredibly selfish. Andy would have laughed at me too, and would have pointed out that he wasn't in any kind of competition xx

Oh Jane, I feel for you xx At least I was with Andy for the last 4 days, and the first one of them was incredibly good. At least he could hear you sometimes, and hopefully he understood. Poor Andy had no idea why no-one was visiting and until I got him home thought I had abandoned him. He couldn't operate his phone, and then when I phoned the nurses station in the hospital to go to his bed and pick up his phone for him, he mostly couldn't hear me anyway, and when he could say anything just kept asking me to come and get him, it was heartbreaking. Look after yourself, Jane - there is a lot ahead, and it may not all be bad xxx Sue