I'M THINKING THIS MIGHT BE MY LAST POST. Im just being polite.

Hi Dutsie & all on this feed

Despite taking a sleeping pill it’s 4am and I’m awake! Will try two tomorrow night... however it means I’ve stumbled onto this feed. 

Being new to this site it’s sad to read that you all had a better experience before covid. 
Covid has been awful for us all in various ways. Our worlds have been changed so much even if that doesn’t include the worst of it by losing someone directly by it or it having impact on those of us trying to fight cancer!! We are doing less and for those of us recently bereaved that doesn’t help. I work part time at home even before covid and the nature of my work has meant it’s slowed down even more so when I’m told to keep busy it’s not that easy!!! Doing what? It’s mainly house stuff, but that was all fresh new plans Dave & I had together (like my half built porch!) and those are the last things I feel like continuing with right now.

Obviously being new I’ve only ever used this portal so didn’t realise it had changed. I recently got an email from MacMillan asking how I found it and I did say the navigation is hard.

I for one am grateful some of you have stuck with it. It’s been a lifeline for me the past 12 days. 

xx

Hi all,

I agree, this too has been an absolute lifeline for me too. My husband and I lived through his whole diagnosis through Covid times and I continue to live with my grief through lockdown after he died just before Christmas. 
For me personally lockdown has been a blessing and a curse. I have not been able to spend time with friends and family that I choose to see, no hugs to make me feel better. But at the same time I have no had to endure the sympathetic stares from work colleagues, nor have I had to keep repeating ‘he died’ to anyone asking how things are. I haven’t had to go for a walk and be surrounded by happy couples waking hand in hand, just the odd few here and there which has been bad enough.

The understanding and support I have received from this online community has been invaluable for me. From joining the group for ‘supporting someone with incurable cancer’ at the beginning to this group now it has been my lifeline. I have even made some friends who I now whatsapp every day, and a couple who I am even hoping to meet up with when we’re able. This would never have happened without this group. I also found the ‘widowed and Young’ support group because of someone on here recommending it.

Yes this site can be a pain and not always easy to navigate but I wouldn’t be without it so thank you to everyone who had and continues to open up their heart and contribute with honest stories of their lives.

Julie xx

Morning everyone

I couldn’t agree more with what others have said about the importance to me of the support on here. Finding myself in this position has been a nightmare I never believed would happen to us. And although I have a really strong and amazing support group of friends, all bar one, are fortunate enough not to be in this position and they willingly admit that they don’t know what it must be like for me. (Weirdly one of my oldest friends lost her husband suddenly, not cancer or Covid related, just two weeks after I lost Chris. We’ve spent a lot of time talking to each other. Sadly she doesn’t live locally so we can’t meet but she’s first on the list to see once this is over) 

I’m retired, so Covid restrictions have been a mixed blessing. I’ve chosen who to see and when to see them. But oh, how I’d have loved a hug or two or to actually sit and chat over a coffee rather than just keep on the move! But I know full well that when I collect those promised hugs, I’ll shed tears.

 I actually joined this group a few weeks after Chris passed- I think that was a combination of being in denial- it was all a sick joke after all, wasn’t it? And I believed I could handle this- I’ve always been a capable positive person. Sadly right now, I’m not that person any more and who knows whether she’ll ever come back. 

I don’t respond to everything I read by posting but believe me, I’m so grateful for every shared emotion. I check in here regularly and am reassured to know that I’m not alone. It is a lifeline and thank you to everyone of you for being there.

Virtual hugs

Jane

xx

Hello everyone,

firstly I would like to say that I am really delighted to see that you are beginning to sign your posts with your first name. It's lovely to be able to Be able to address people on here by their first name rather than using the username they have given themselves. It is also easier for me that way to address you directly when replying.

yes this forum is wonderful and I cannot imagine my life without it. it is really and truly amazing even though I have to say that I preferred the way the site was before and I would still prefer if we were able to share more personal details about ourselves here without having it be removed bye somebody from Macmillan.But I would never leave this forum.

lots of love to everyone, Melony.

Hi Dutsie,

Lovely to hear from you. 

Yes I know what you mean. I have found that my relationship to the group changed with my grief. This had nothing to do with any of the members on here but simply with the fact that my grief changed. But, like you say, I felt too that just because I didn't need the same support as in the early days I shouldn't leave this group but actually stay on and see how I could be supportive to others. And, over time, and especially in the last few weeks, I have been thinking how lovely it is to have this forum, with people I remember from my early days here to the new ones who sadly had to join this forum, and I am really glad to be here. 

Love, Mel.

Hi Julie 

how have you managed to make friends through here that you WhatsApp? We can’t exchange any more precise detail on here can we? X

I am still popping on and off. I don't write as much. My grief has also changed. I don't feel lost or sad any more. But I did find the group very helpful and made a few virtual friends. 

I loved Mel's phrase moving forward and I feel I have. My job is good and was a great help to bury myself in it especially through covid and grief. I have many great friends and family, a great relationship with my children which is better than ever now we are on our own, fantastic parents who have supported me and brothers and I have taken a chance on a new relationship which I swore would never happen but has. No complications and I am happy. He makes me laugh and we like each others company. 

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Hi Alison

I’m so glad that things are going well for you, it gives us all hope for the future. Thank you for sharing with us xx

Hi MyPineappke,

If you click on the profile of a person you can request to add them as a friend. If they accept then you can send them private messages. I’ve done that with about 4 different people over the time and I’ve given them my personal number. Three of those I stay in regular contact with now and it is been so helpful for us all. I hope that helps.

Julie xx

I would love to do this but at the moment when I click on a profile I can't see a button where I could send a friend request. If any of you on here want to be friend me that is absolutely fine and I would really love them more personal contact and not having to go through this side all the time.