I'M THINKING THIS MIGHT BE MY LAST POST. Im just being polite.

I’ve not long joined the group and I must say that I feel disappointed in the

lack of contribution. I was hoping for a lot more interaction to be honest.    

When I joined here in spring of 2018, things were so different. It's funny isn't it? Now that many of us are so isolated we communicate so much less here.

I think part of it is that this side has changed so much. And even though I have figured out a way of how to use this side with the iPhone it is still not the same.
personally, I have been very busy because I am trying to bring my business online and work with patients online because we don't know when face-to-face treatments and workshops will be possible again. I have started Business coaching. And I do have a number of clients with whom I work every week on zoom. I have also published my book and it has taken some time and energy.
but I do wish that things were the same as before.

Hi all,

I only lost my husband 10 weeks ago so have not been in here for long. However I do try and check in each day and contribute when I feel I have something useful to say.

But for me i do find that posts do seem pretty quiet. As I am only 47 I have joined the ‘Widowed and Young’ group (for anyone under 51 at the time of losing their partner). They seem to have much more input and so I have moved more to this group sadly. They have helped me massively and have zoom chats for face to face support. 

I will continue to look on here and hope that maybe more people will contribute. Doesn’t help when it’s not the best site to use.

x

It’s 18 weeks today since I lost my husband of 44 years. I didn’t know what to expect when I joined this forum and have found reading posts reassuring. I’ve also found it helpful to post my own thoughts and feelings through this awful journey but am aware that I probably read messages far more often than I post or respond. I check in several times a day but don’t post every time I check in. It doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful for the experiences that you’re sharing or the advice that is offered. I do think these strange times make any communication equally weird. I have family members, both mine and the in-laws who are hardly in touch with me at all. My siblings in law I find particularly hurtful as they all relied very heavily on their eldest brother whenever they or their parents had problems, which they did with alarming regularity. My husband never complained, just sorted out their issues! So now I’ve rambled right away from the original thread here which I seem to do quite often. Sorry.
Take care, stay safe and virtual hugs

xx

I set up a group for young widows and widowers on meet up and have scheduled my first zoom meeting with the group for next week.

I really think that this forum here is great but it used to be much more busy and with lots more exchange. And another thing that kind of annoys me a little bit is that everything is being kept so private and confidential here so that I couldn't even share the details of the zoom meeting with you because this post would be deleted or I can't send the link to my book or anything like that. And I do think that some of us sometimes want less anonymity and more real personal contact with people.

I will stay on though because I am hoping that there will be more contact between us all.

Hi

I got a new phone and didn't even realise I wasn't receiving any updates until this week when I got an email from Macmillan. 

I really loved the ease of the old site, and I recognised your and Melanie names and thought I would reply today.

It will be the 3rd anniversary of my husbands passing soon and our sons 21st birthday next week. Which should be a massive celebration but with Covid this is impossible, he had his 18th in the hospice with his Dad so I was really going to spoil him this year. I'm really sad and lonely.  

Everything seems so hard doing it on your own all the time. I'm missing my parents who I haven't managed to see since October 2019 . Due to my son breaking his leg and then covid. My mum's lost her sight since I last saw her. Life is so cruel. 

I think the length of lockdown has made our lives seem much smaller, we don't have the news to share like we used to. We aren't making new memories or having new experiences, it all feels very boring.

At least my younger son is now back at school and due to me being a key worker I have had both covid vaccinations so I'm really hoping for lockdown lifting and things to look forward to. I cant wait to visit my parents and book a holiday.

Hang in there everyone

How lovely to read old friends emails. Ruby, Mel, Geoff. And new ones too. We all have to go on living with a new story. My story without my husband is pretty much like everyone else’s in a strange lockdown world. My daughter gave birth to my third granddaughter 3 months ago. I swear she is the image of my husband but it seems I am the only one that can see it. She is our lockdown baby. What would my husband make of all this. When newly bereaved the pain has to explode somewhere. I exploded here. That was my choice. Thank you so much for absorbing my detritus. But mostly thank you for being able to read about Mel’s journey and her pain and getting her life back due to great friends. I felt Ruby and loved her honesty. I saw Geoff as a friend and recognised his lovely grumpy cynical caring sometimes angry swipe at fate that caused the loss of his love. I totally get that. So don’t worry about this site. Sadly there are many owls mels rubys and geoffs in our wake and if we can help every six months or so. That’s ok. 

Hi Ruby Diamond,

Ah there you are! I had often wondered where you had gone. It's lovely to see you online here again. 

Yes I agree: Doing everything on our own without our loved one at our side is so hard. And especially on important days we want them to be with us - well, every day of course but especially then - and it is very sad that they will never ever be with us again. 

I think it is sad that this group has changed so much. And so many people who used to be here before COVID are now gone, or at least seem to no longer be here, which I find sad too. 

I find the communication via this site okay now once I found out how it works it is actually not a problem. But still, something has changed and I don't know what it is. I still love being here though.

I think in a strange way COVID has changed many of us. You know, I feel that people in general are talking to each other less, so many people seem to be wrapped up in their own shell even more than before, I said to one of my friends last night that to me it feels like people are withdrawing from other people a little even. It's so sad as particularly now we should be in contact with each other as much as we can I think.

Anyway, I'l stop ramblin.

Love, Mel.

Hi Geoff,

I hear you! I think I have not been here much because whilst I found this site very helpful and comforting in the few years, I started to feel that I had moved on from that initial stage and had nothing more to contribute. 

Saying that I recently remembered how I felt when first joined this group and how I appreciated comments from people a bit further down the line. That's why I am on here tonight.

It's nice to see familiar names. Hii Ruby Diamond, Owl58 and Mel x 

I suppose I am going to try to pop in now and again, because the loss will always be there but our perspective somewhat changed from the early days. We, or should I say I still sometimes need to share with people that understand.

I always appreciated your posts Geoff, like I have from others.

With lots of love,

Dutsie Xx

ps does this sound mad? I actually miss my virtual friends that I shared my innermost feelings during the early years. Love to all x