A different birthday

Hi everyone,

Hope I can offer a bit of encouragement to you all.

I'm approaching what will be my 4th birthday as a widow. Birthdays aren't the same, agreed, but it has definitely got easier and I have learned to enjoy them. Of course, this one will be even more different because of Covid,but that's the same for everyone at the moment.

I would say that after just over 3 years, the pain has healed a lot, but I guess that just shows that we are all different and heal differently. I think the key is acceptance that our lives have changed, when we get to that point, I think we can begin to enjoy new ways of doing things.

You WILL all get there eventually, hang on in there, you won't always feel like you do now. X

Hi Kenickiesmum,

I remember you actually saying about that stone with the sharp edges before. It really stuck with me to the point I have actually told friends about that (and my daughter) as I thought it was a perfect description of how it feels all the time.

x

Hi Northernlass,

Thanks so much for that reply. I am truly hoping that I am one of the ‘lucky’ ones (if you can call it that) who is able to accept my new life in good time and one day learn to enjoy life again. I will miss my hubby every day for the rest of my life but I want to be happy again eventually and enjoy doing all the things that we used to do together, but just carry on enjoying them for the both of us x

Wanting to be happy again is a good start, and I'm sure you will be x

Sorry for repeating myself...I’ve shared it with a very close friend who lost her husband very suddenly just after my loss. Couldn’t remember whether I’d shared it here too. 
xx

Thank you for what you have written. I am feeling so down at the moment and your words have given me hope x

It truly is awful isn’t it Sarah21? I feel pretty fed up this morning too. I woke up in bed and turned over fully expecting to see my husband asleep next to me, to see an empty space was not great.

Its not that I can’t cope alone because I can. I’ve lived alone years ago before I met my hubby. It’s just that I don’t want to be without him. He made life fun and adored me as I did him.

I feel like when he was with me my life was like this bright light, and now someone has turned the lightswitch off. I can still function but it’s like I’m living in the dark now. Hopefully one day the light will gradually get brighter, like a dimmer switch gradually being turned up x

Hi Sarah,

Hi Sarah,

I'm pleased for that. I don't come on here as often as I did in the beginning, but I pop in from time to time and if I can encourage someone I do try to.

Occasionally I do have a down day, when I just think "I want my old life back!", but they aren't very often now. The second year after my husband died I felt I was really making some progress, unfortunately with Covid last year, not so much so! I'm hoping to pick up that progress again, when we get back to a life without restrictions!

Sending you a virtual hug today x

You sound so positive, it really does help.

I think I am at the stage of the shock and numbness have gone and I am now trying to accept that he's never coming back...but it's so hard.  I know it will take a long time and a lot of tears and heartache but like you said covid is making everything much more difficult.

This support from this group is helping me so much, thankyou x