Can't sleep

Hi Evi79,

I am truly sorry for the loss of your wonderful husband. and I am glad you have found this forum as I am sure it will provide a lot of help and support for you in the weeks and months to come.

you only had such a short time from diagnosis to your husbands death. and he was so young and you would have been able to have so much more time together. It is devastating and I can completely understand the feeling you describe of not really knowing whether you still want to be here because life as you know it is gone.

I used to feel exactly like you for a good few months after my husband's death.

please keep posting here. with lots of love, Mel

Hi My Dog Is My Sanity,

I am so very sorry for your loss and I know there are no words at the moment that will give you comfort but, as you say, talking really helps and so please continue to share as often and what ever you like there is always somebody here to listen.

lots of love,

Mel

I am so sorry for your recent losses. It is awful at any time but feels worse at Christmas.

Love and hugs Alison xxx

My husband's name was Martin... strangely, I think he'd say the exact thing you have just posted.

Hi Yvie,

So sorry to hear about your husband. It doesn't matter how long or short the diagnosis is, its always a shock. 

There are some fabulous people on here all of whom have gone or are going through exactly what you are.

Take things a day at a time, do your grieving your own way and whenever you pop back on here they'll be someone to support you.

Lizzy

So sorry for your loss. My husband passed away less than three months after diagnosis and then end came very suddenly- even the oncologist was shocked by how quickly things changed as we'd planning for him to come home for whatever time was left at lunchtime. He passed away early that same evening. Because of Covid restrictions I wasn't there and I'm finding that so hard to come to terms with. 

A friend described the pain as being like a huge stone that can hurt so much it's hard to breathe. But over time the rough edges of the stone start to smooth- it's still there, it still hurts but it becomes more bearable. She lost her husband a few years ago, so understands what it's like

Take care and let others help you through this horrendous time.

You are so right I feel the weight of that stone in my chest every day. Desperate for a hug from my hubby this morning. No one could ever replace that amazing hug x

Hi all  & Thanks Bramblejoo for recommending site I joined immediately after reading your reply to me yesterday. 
I lost my darling husband on 3rd December , he went in hospice for what I hoped was just to ‘sort him out’ and he would be home for Christmas and we would have a great time make memories and fight emotions again in New year but sadly not. My boys their partners and the joy of little grandsons has been amazing... But... it’s not him... I feel so alone even though I am surrounded by love I take myself away and cry it just doesn’t seem real.  I look at his clothes and made a start but just moving things around just don’t know what to do. I get this overwhelming panic sweep over me then I say sort yourself out, clean do domestic things and know I got through it this time. I can’t believe I am a Widow in my late 50’s we had so many plans he worked so hard so we could enjoy the upcoming years. I must hold on to the fact that he is no longer suffering and going through tests and chemo he used to say. I would just like a break from feeling shit. He can sleep peacefully now. It is great we can support and be there for one another during this heartbreaking time

Lee bop

Hi Lee Bop,

A warm heartfelt welcome to the group none of us want to join, but are glad of the support.

I am sure you are feeling absolutely awful and you will for a long time no doubt. Your husband passed away a week before mine so I guess we may be at a similar stage in our grief, although I realise it is different for us all. Some days I seem to get through okay and others I am in floods of tears. It still doesn’t feel real and I’m expecting him to reappear at some point. I too wasn’t expecting to be a widow for many years (I’m 46, hubby was 52) and currently have no idea what to do now. I have a home, a job, a family who love me, but my hubby and I were best friends and did absolutely everything together. So how do I go from that to just me? I miss just sitting in silence together watching rubbish TV, I miss sharing jokes that no one else gets, I miss cuddles at night, I just miss my gorgeous man.

Thinking of you, it’s gonna be a long hard road but we will continue for the sake of our loved ones who can no longer enjoy a future.

x

It's exactly 10 weeks since I lost my husband. So much of what you say rings true for me. We had both retired and loved pottering around and going away for overnight stays to favourite places. We'd both worked hard to make this possible. Then this year we had to cancel so many plans, like everyone I know. But now those trips and days out just won't happen. I feel so cheated for both of us and who knows when I'll feel like doing these things on my own. I am blessed with friends who are ready to be with me as soon as it's allowed but it's not the same and I don't want to be that needy person- it's just not who I am. Who knows what 2021 and beyond will be like. 

This forum is so supportive. Thank you all for being there