I'm expressing a serious concern as tactfully as possible regarding Grief and its affect.

Hi MelaniaL 

Please go back and  re-read my previous posts on this thread. Opinions vary. 

Geoff x 

I know which camp Geoff is in and it is most certainly not the camp of some of the ladies here. There is no such thing as professional help for us maybe for some but not us. No man made chemicals (antidepressants), counsellors or therapists etc etc can ever give us back what was taken from us we are trapped hereafter. There is no solution whatsoever we all have to find a way of getting through every day because our situation can never change. I will not kid myself or brainwash myself nor will I allow anyone to try and do it for me. Nobody can give us back the one thing we want, no amount of man made chemicals or yapping will ever be a substitute. 

I have not had antidepressants or counseling. Just positive thinking and good friends! 

But I don't give up, just  keepoving forward

Xxx

I'm pleased for you. Positive thinking and good friends can never replace my devastating loss, they can never be a substitute. x

We have all had a devastating loss, or we would not be here.

Some move forward slowly, other's  do not they stay at a stand still.

Life does go on, but not the life we once new.

Hello Ellie, your first sentence is not in dispute.

As to your second sentence that's my point.

And finally, suggestions on this thread of professional help, man made chemicals, yapping with counsellors and the such like count for nothing as far as I'm concerned, sad as it may be it is Status Quo for some of us.

Could i ask why  why you wish to stay at a stand still, would your other half want that.

I have nothing to either move on or move forward for. I'm a firm believer in some form of afterlife so my life as I see it is over I'd rather be reunited with my wife than to be existing in horrendous misery. As to what my wife would want its best you ask my wife that question. As I have said I will not kid myself nor brainwash myself nor let anyone do it for me.

We all have our own beliefs and in control of our own lives nobody has the right to judge other people's lives, I speak for myself what other people do is their business.

Well  i believe in the afterlife, but at this moment i am here and will make the most of it, this group is here to support  each other, but some people do not want help, so there is no point in trying  Sad  .

Hi Ellie and Akela2516 

I know exactly where Crewcut is coming from. And as for asking 'would your other half want this'  its not about how our other half would or would not deal with it. That hypothetical nonsense is  bordering on emotional blackmail. From my own perspective. Ive had counselling in the past. Its effects are short lived for me. As I've said before, and backed up by medical evidence. Antidepressants are for a mental illness they DO NOT deal with grief because thats a natural process that has to be worked through all in its good time and in every single persons way. Ive been on antidepressants  for 30yrs so I know from experience. And experience is the highest authority. We are all different and so forceful judgemental advice or comments are the worst kind of approach.  Some folks - maybe you and others - can march forward with your positive thinking. But others can't. Because for me its not about 'thinking'  its about emotions and feelings the most powerful aspects of the human mind. 

Geoff x