I'm so sorry. Couldn't pass this post without commenting to say that I have no doubt you are doing brilliantly in an awful time. There is no backwards, just ups and downs and bumps along the road. Take each hour by hour and just because you have had lots of bad hours today, doesn't mean tomorrow will be the same. I'm sorry you're feeling so sad and alone. There's a lot of support on here and a lot of people going through their own versions of what you're going through. Sending all my best wishes to you.
although you are having a bad day, it is another day onwards.
Everything is so raw, traumatic, surreal.
Would it help you to tell us about your day? I’ve had a bad one after a relatively good one yesterday.
All day I have been seeing signs. However they have all been sad / bad memory signs which have had me in tears throughout the day. In Sainsbury’s, walking into and home from town. At mums. At my neighbours. At home.
A what the hell is the point kind of day.
But I know I will have more slightly better days coming.
Hi there, it is so soul destroying isn’t it. We don’t choose to feel like this. It is the loss, combined with extreme exhaustion and fatigue. At times, I can barely function and I am sure you feel the same. Try and just go with it for a bit, sleep when you can, eat when you can and let the pain out. I am still crying myself to sleep every night. The day time has got a little easier. Sending you hugs and cuddles. Kate. Xxx
We all have these days. I myself go through little spells of this but they pass. No two people feel the same at any one time but hopefully you will feel better soon. Some days for me too it is `two steps forward three back` but I am getting there be it slowly and as you say some days you just wonder `what is the point`? I wish you well moving forward and sending you best wishes.
Then driving home from shops, 5 mins away from home I had to pull over as a sudden wave of tears engulfed me for no apparent reason. Just sat in the car and howled for about 10 minutes. Managed to get home and spent last hour curled on bed just gut sobbing.
Why? It’s not fair. I need you here. I miss you to much to bear. I love you. Buba, please say this isn’t happening. It’s all a nightmare. I can’t cope without you. I can’t do this without you. You should be beside me not in a box. I don’t want to do this without you. Everything is empty. In me, in the house What’s the bloody point without you. I love you.
I’ve just messaged my friend and she is going to come over.
God. This is so bloody hard. How do you numb the pain?
I got to a stage where I was hitting the Gin & Tonic’s. I couldn’t cope with the pain and just wanted to dull it. It didn’t help, it just made me more emotional if possible.That lasted about a week. I also contacted St Barnabas for Bereavement Counselling and I have done this over the last six weeks. It has definitely helped me to process the loss. The suffering is immense, and I won’t be doing it again. No one can ever replace my love. Sending you strength, hugs and cuddles. Xxx
You can't. Well not at the beginning anyway you try everything but it just won't go away. But you will learn to live with it and it will get easier as time passes. The pain may never leave you but will get better. Just over 16 months for me and some days I feel guilty when I don't think of him as if I am trying to forget him but I never will. There are still days I can't comprehend he is actually gone. Today I went to a retail park the two of us used to go to and I got lost going there in the car even though I used the sat-nav and I said to myself `how could I get lost` because we had been to this place so many times but then he was always the one driving. Little things like this that grab you that you actually did this and went to this place on your own and I want to tell him that I did that but can't because he's not here. But I like to think he did know and is somewhere around watching over me. Please take care of yourself and just try to take things a day at a time it's all you can do and when you need to cry just do it just do what you feel you need to to get through. Best Wishes to you.
