Lost my wife 2 days ago

Hi I'm sorry for your loss it is a long journey you are on I lost my wife over a year ago it is so paifull so take your time write lists as you will forget even simple things and be kind to yourself it will get less painful as time goes by but will never go away cry and rant as much as you like I still do and you will find this site always happy to support you

1. So sorry for your loss Devin- all of us here feel your pain. I am now 20 weeks into the grief and nightmare of losing my husband Colin and still can't believe it really happened! You will be busy with all the 'stuff' that has to be dealt with- and you will do it, make sure you have a notebook and pen handy!  You and your daughters and close family will support each other thorough this difficult time. 

Sending virtual hugs x

Sorry to hear your news.  My wife of 21 years died 13th February after uterus cancer spread to her lungs.  A tumour blocked her right lung airway causing it to collapse, her left lung also began losing function despite 100% oxygen.  My wife and I where inseparable, I miss her every day.   Devin, it will feel painful and very hard to comprehend losing your wife.   You are not alone, I have gained solace on this forum, with everybody here so supportive.  Post frequently we will all do our best to support you.  Peter 

The lung failing and oxygen support were part of the story for me too and what we thought was an infection that she could recover from was only the cancer spreading. 

Hi Devin,

I am so sorry for your loss. My husband Ric died of lung cancer at Christmas. It feels so long ago but also like yesterday. We were told a year plus but he never made more than 2-3 months and died suddenly of respiratory depression due to cancer. 

Now I am so relieved we never had the oxygen and he could still walk a bit. The "miracle chemo" made everything worse and I am sure that is what sped up the process! Luckily it hadn't spread to bones. He did still cough up buckets of gunk and was exhausted and in pain. With covid, I am glad he went quickly and we didn't struggle through isolation and existing!!! 

I miss him terribly but managed to scatter him last week, that has given me peace because I feel he is free and back to his roots.

One day at a time for now, things will fall together and you will have your friends and family. You will find out who are you best friends and they may not be who you think. Don't rush anything. Take care.

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Hi Devin, I’m so very sorry for your loss & that you too have joined this group. I haven’t been here long as my husband passed 4 weeks ago tomorrow. It’s still very early days & I’m heartbroken, I feel physical pain as we too were inseparable. 

Our sons were a tower of strength to me despite being devastated at losing their Dad. Lean on your daughters & talk about your wife as much as you can. 

My husband was badly let down my the oncology department & as I’ve heard a lot lately it was the “wonder” chemotherapy/immunotherapy that we’d been assured would give him 2-4 years effectively wrecked his entire system.

Like you I hate every second of this grief but, have had lots of kind words & support from the lovely people on this site.

Sending virtual hugs. X

Thank you both for your kind words. I'm trying to take it easy, one step at a time. Xx

Hi devin i lost my wife 3 weeks ago ever so quickly from her being diagnosed with cancer I totally understand  your pain I have 2 wonderful children that keep me going its a very hard pill to digest you must  surround your self with loved ones and take those small steps daily cry when you need to cry I cry a great deal then I have to pull my self together its ever so early mate  be strong for those girls mate they need there dad  listen mate I have been in a very dark place I try to push through this sorrow every day telling myself that there's going to be better days you will find strength that you never thought you had look after your self and those girl mate always ready to listen all the best Reg

Hi Reg, thanks for sharing. My dad just sent me docs about the different stages of grief, I know Ive got a few tsunamis coming up. 

We have setup a hug policy with my daughters. Whenever one of us, day or night, is hit by a wave of sadness, just call it and boom group hug (scientifically proven says the little one). It works great.

Take care

hi devin we also have a thing called 10 in the den were we give big hugs to each other it helps us a great deal look after one another god bless Reg