How can I live without my wonderful husband?

HI Carol, Kernowp.

I'm new to this group so coming in late. Kernowp, if you do not feel up to counselling, you do not have to do that yet. It can take months before you can even say anything coherent. I started looking into it a year later. I lost my wife 3 years ago, so further down the line than you. I work at home (do not have kids or pets) so had to get used to being on my own quickly (talking to inanimate objects like Shirley Valentine does curb the madness a little!). Think of your house, as 'our' house. Still see it as a shared house. I see myself as the caretaker of 'our' house, and maybe in time, I will will see it as my house, I do not know, but for now when I do things in 'our house' it makes it seem less lonely. Hope that helps a little..

Hi Mugwa,

Thank you for replying. I would have counselling if there was any available, it seems in my area everything has been stopped due to a Covid!  

Our house is far too big for me on my own, we’d been planning on downsizing for a while but had to put our plans on hold when my husband was diagnosed with cancer. 

Like yourself, I talk to inanimate objects & to my husband constantly.

The pain of losing the other half of me is intense & I find every minute drags as I can’t muster up an ounce of energy to do anything. I spoke to a social prescriber this morning to ask for help but, she couldn’t offer anything. I just feel utterly devastated, heartbroken & alone. 

Sorry to be such a misery. I just can’t see my life without my husband in it.

My son tried to get me to watch that after life but I haven't yet because I can't stick Ricky Gervais! Irritates me!! Might be good for any anger! Lol. He said it was good, xxx

Hi Akela2516,

I know what you mean about Ricky Gervais! Never got him, never watched the office etc.  However. after watching After Life, I have a new found respect for the man. He is a very clever man. 

I thought it was brilliant. Made me both cry and laugh!!

Dutsie Xx

I know what you mean about Ricky Gervais - his stand up routines do nothing for me but I enjoyed the office. Afterlife is good, Rickys sarcasm is there but it's very well done.

Like that  Mugwas, i still call this our home, because it was our home for a very long time.'mind you i have been painting this afternoon, carried in a wooden garden table and foot stool, and i am saying these where  his, which they where, but job done,

Hi Bootsy and Dutsie, maybe I might give it a try then. 

Kernowp I was told not to have counseling too early because it is too raw at the beginning and you can't put it all together and make sense of it. I haven't had any and was discussing this with my good also widowed friend. Neither of us feel we need it yet, it may hit us later I guess and we might. Strangely I think I may have grieved a bit before Ric died. I had lost my Ric, he couldn't do as much, not sure. Strangely I never really grieved for my first husband but it all fell into place when I lost Ric! 

I hope you get some sleep and feel a little better soon even if only a day. 

Take care xxx

I always wanted to be a positive person. You know- look on the bright side- there are people worse off - you are not the only one suffering- be grateful for the positive things in life.  Ha all shite. Missing him is so painful   It just gets harder. If he would just come back. Sorry for not being a comfort to you but there is no comfort in this bloody awful sadness and therefore all I can say is I know your pain. 

Hi Owl, 

Never say sorry on here. 

This is the place for us to rant. 

I absolutely identify with your words. 

All that rubbish, that people are telling us without having a smallest clue.  

We know best, how we feel. 

Yes, we know, we are not the only ones, but I don't think, it makes anyone feel better. 

I hope, you are feeling a bit better. 

Sending you a big hug

Andrea xx