How can I live without my wonderful husband?

Hi,

Just wanted to say sorry for both your losses.

It's been 19 months for me. I don't know where the time has gone. Somehow we manage and we learn little by little to do things that once appeared to be the biggest mysteries of life. You'll survive this; life will move you forward even when you resist and it'll be okay. Life will no longer be the way we want it to be but give yourselves lots of time - all the time you need and more, and cry all the tears you want. We know and feel your pain and we care.

Love.

Thank you Melanie, whilst I’m sure you & the other posters are right, I simply can’t even begin to imagine my life without my husband. He took care of me as I have a lot of illnesses & we were never apart, even went to the post box & took the recycling out together. We lived for each other & although we both think the world of our sons they have their wives & lives of their own.

People say they die from a broken heart & I can quite believe that. I’m absolutely bereft, I have lost 4lb in 3 days. 

One thing that terrifies me the most is thunderstorms & we have them forecast for the next 4 days, I’m literally shaking as I type this as my husband used to hold me tightly as I get petrified.

love Kernowp 

Thank you limbo, as I put in my reply to Melanie, I’m utterly heartbroken, we did everything together & I can’t function without him. I’m rapidly losing weight...below 8 stone. 

I will be speaking to my GP tomorrow & the bereavement councillor. I simply can’t & don't want to have a life without him.

love 

kernowp

Like you I can't imagine life without my husband.  He retired at 55 and had 2 years of just looking after me.  I worked full time, he did everything at home .  It was wonderful.  Last July on his 56th Birthday he collapsed, they suspected kidney stones but long story short it was renal cancer.  He had his kidney removed.  In March we found out at his first scan that it had spread.  He underwent 12 weeks of immunotherapy but didn't work and for 12 weeks he was so poorly.  He died 3 weeks ago, I was holding his hand.  I still can't believe he has gone.  The pain is physical, my heart is breaking.  I just want to be with him.  I am taking each day hour by hour.  My GP has given me meds for the anxiety.  Kernowp keep posting, there are so many people on here who know what we are going through

Love Carol

There's very little any of us can say here other than everyone who posts has been through to some lesser or higher degree what you have been through.

We form an eclectic group here some of us are hideously traumatised and others picking up and moving forward..

But I have seen people here grow out of the deep grief they feel when first here and we have had some very frank exchanges here and enjoyed some fun times..

So you are among friends, friends who understand to some degree what you have been through..

I'm staying at a friend's flat for a  few days and I spent the whole day watching a series called After Life. You've probably heard of it or seen it but I've been out of it for 4 years. Anyway, it's about a man who lost his wife so we see the different stages of the grieving process. I find it amazing ; it was like watching myself. I cried through the series. At the end of the first season it ends with someone saying: Life goes on but not as good. Basically, that's it.I still can't imagine spending the rest of my life without my husband and so I'm hoping it'll be a short one. But, whatver it is, life forces us to continue going through the motions and making choices. As Mcc says, we grow out of the deep grief, ever so slowly. In the beginning, it's not even about taking baby steps. It's just trying to live with the excruciating pain. But we're here, whatever that's worth. The forum has been my lifeline.

• Is that the Ricky Gervais series? It's very good and real if it relates to your situation. I love the honesty in this programme it's real ish even though Ricky hasn't 'been' there

Yes, tha's it.

I really feel for you. I know how difficult it is to be a part when you have done almost everything together. And, yes, I think that the thing about the broken heart is really true for many people. In the early days I even thought the same about myself. But somehow life has gone on and I have learned to live with the situation as I am sure you will at some stage. You say that you have illnesses and that your husband used to take care of you. Do you have other people, family and friends, supporting you now? And are the sons any support? I hope the thunderstorms won't come to you. I absolutely love them and we had one last night and I was Essex cited as I used to be when I was a child. Some things never change.