Hi e everyone I'm lou. I lost my husband Wayne 4 weeks ago after 5 days from being diagnosed with incurable pancreatic cancer. He was only 51. I've joined this group for support and advice. It's nice to know I'm not alone.
Welcome. Lou its 5 and half weeks for me Bill endured 4 and a half years of cancer what a shock it must have been for you You didnt have any time to get your head around it .So very sorry its hard but this is a lovely group with a bunch of amazing people .I have just come home after staying at my daughters its very strange keep thinking he will be here when I go out and come back in again .Life wont be the same for any of us but we have got each other and we will support everyone it really does make a difference .Take care keep posting lots of hugs x
Hi Lou and welcome but I'd rather not be welcoming you to this group for obvious reasons.
We are all people who know what you have been through and have a small idea of how you feel. I'm about two month's in and the people here have supported me through some tough times.
Everyone looks out for everyone else, just a shame there are so many of us.
"Sometimes life is hideous, other times it's worse!"
Hi ruby thanks for your reply. I'm sorry about your husband too. Quite similar circumstances to me then. It's so cruel and unfair. I've been so busy the last couple of months looking after wayne and since he passed organizing everything that I've been kept busy and on autopilot. Now its gone a bit quieter I've had time to stop and think. It's starting to hit me now. It happened so quickly that I haven't had time to process it all. It was devastating having to sit in the hospital and listen to wayne tell me what he wanted for his funeral. We didn't think we only had days. People keep saying I know how you feel but unless they've lost their husband how can they? I know they mean well but they dont at all. I can only say I feel like I'm empty inside and my heart has been ripped out. I hope it does get a bit easier as time passes but I cant see how just yet. I've loved wayne since I was 18 and dont know what km going to do without him next to me. I miss just doing nothing together if that makes sense. We were always together. I just keep thinking what's the point of anything.
I am sorry to hear about Wayne. I lost Ric at Christmas, just about 3 months from diagnosis, he died suddenly from lung cancer but we were told 1-2 years. I found him face down on the floor but it was too late. It was a dreadful shock (and I am a nurse). Ric was 60. I am only 53 and he was the second husband I lost.
I would never say you can not love someone else but you will always love Wayne. I still love both Simon and Ric. I was with Simon from age 15 for 26 years. I never had as long with Ric. I don't think I can do it all again but I am lucky, I have a good job and my children are 21 and almost 17. Plenty to keep me moving forward. I have two friends who have also been recently widowed and around my age. We help each other and yes they do understand which is great. My mum really gets up my nose because she says she understands but she has never lost s husband.
No it doesn't really get easier but the time goes by, quicker than you think it will and you start to manage your life differently and slowly do things on your own. Yes I am very lonely but I won't give in. Ric knew this. I cherish my memories and photos. You will eventually start to have slightly longer between thinking about him. And you will be fine because we all have to be!!
hi lou i feel your pain, i have only just lost my wife a week ago, so this is all so early and i know how you are feeling. its a lonely time it was all so quick for me and the kids also i just feel so much pain i know i have got to be strong for my kids they are keeping me together i hope we can get some comfort from our posts you definitely are not alone try to keep strong and remember i am always a post away
I'm into my 18th week since my Colin left us. I think after 14 weeks I realised he wasn't going to be coming home. This site has been brilliant for me and every1 has been so helpful and understanding. The pain is still with me especially when I leave the cemetery and come home to an empty house then cry again at bedtime! Going back to work was a good thing byt redundancies are looming so just waiting to find out if I will have some other changes to deal with.
Stay safe and keep moving forwards, we can't go back as much as we would like to x
Hi Lou, what a shock that must have been for you & so quick, im so very sorry.
I lost my wonderful husband just over 3 weeks ago & the people on here have been very kind & supportive. I cry all the time & feel very lonely as none of my friends have lost husbands & my sons live miles away
Hi, im new to this group having lost my wonderful loving husband of 45 years just three days ago, the emptiness and loneliness is unbearable, we have a close and loving family and all live within two miiles of each other, they are also suffering from the loss of there dad, i cant imagine my life without him in it, he was my everything, i hope i can find some comfory from this group , i just feel so lost at this time.
Hi Bluebell53, so sorry that you too have joined this group, I’ve only been on about a month but, they are a very supportive group.
My husband was my everything too, everyone said we were two parts of a whole & I now feel like I’ve been ripped apart. I can’t & don’t want to imagine my life without him. I sat in the garden & cried this morning when I hung my washing out when I realised I won’t be hanging my husbands clothes out anymore.
Its good you have a close, loving family living close by. My family moved in with me to help care for their Dad but have had to return to their homes & work now so I’m on my own & it’s lonely.
Be kind to yourself, talk about your wonderful husband, I put together a memory box which was a tiny comfort to help ease the emptiness.
