The painfull process of dealing with our loved ones possessions

When Mark first passed away I got rid of a lot of his clothes as I couldn't find his birth certificate so ended up emptying shelves onto the floor, it was such a mess, I asked my kids if there was any point putting it away and the replied 'no' so I bagged it up and a friends husband took it to the charity shop.

However, coming up to 7 months I am finding it more difficult. I know he's not coming back. I opened a drawer the other day containing his jeans and chinos but I started to cry so quickly shut it.

He was a shopaholic and had loads of clothes, double wardrobe full in our room plus floor to ceiling shelves and drawers. Two double wardrobes in spare room, one with suits, one with work shirts.

His favourite boots are still on the shoe rack in the porch and his favourite shoes are where he kicked them off by the side of our bed......he was very messy!

I still haven't opened the horrible green bin bag the hospital gave me with his stuff after he died. It's been sat on the utility room floor for almost 7 months now, I even hoover around it!

As many people have said on here, there really is no rush.....except I want to downsize my house in the next few years!

As for photos, Mark also didn't like to have his photo taken but I have found some on my phone and printed them off. At first they made my cry but now they make me smile as I remember when and where they were taken. It's his voice I miss, how I wish I didn't delete all my voicemails the second I listen to them!

I am further along than a lot of you and it does get a little easier with time.

Hope you're all having a good day and enjoying the weather.

Ali x

Hi Ali.

I think it's very subjective as painful as it is, when I have tasks that need doing I can't just put them off. I think I would seem callous to some here but I don't think I have the sentimentality gene (neither did Carla, she cleared her Mum's house out in two weeks after her Mum died)

So I feel I can really add nothing except that time marches on and I know Carla would by now be shaking her head at my not having given her stuff to charity...(I would have but her sons want to go over it when the come over)

Yet I do understand when others can't bring themselves to clear stuff away, it's that final "this is it" moment..

AliG55 my husband has loads of clothes & shoes too, I said he was the female version of Imelda Marcos!!! He even bought 2 pairs shoes  after having half of his right foot amputated (his primary sarcoma)!!! 

If I want to hear his voice I gi onto youtube where he posted videos of the 2 cruises we went on or hotel reviews - using his BBC voice instead of the Darlington accent he was born with!! 

I have checked his pockets for fivers but there's none there lol! It'll be a while yet before his clobber goes to wherever it's destined for, might just double check those pockets first!!

Weather's due to change tomorrow- thunder and lightning and high temperatures just for when I finish work- Marvellous!! No one to watch it with - damn!!!

BootsyD

Wasn't Imelda Marcos the female version of Imelda Marcos? I know....I know...

Lol!!!

I keep minimal clothes, 1 pair of shoes, 1 pair of trainers, 1 pair of walking boots and work boots.

Clothes wise just a few hessian sacks I found in the basement, a tarpaulin for going out and an old woolly rug for colder days, plus my trusty colander for rainy days..

(The bit about the shoes is actually true

You are truly a breath of fresh air on this site. Not a day goes by when you don't make me giggle.

Please don't stop!

Ali x

Dont forget that you can make yourself a 3 piece suit from towels. 

Took the dogs out at 3.30 am to watch thunder and lightening and be in the rain - they were not impressed and have gone back to bed. Its only 5..30 and I seem to have done everything on my list for today. hmm now what

Nellie.

Cool to go out in a storm..bet it cleaned the air a bit.

I did try but got the wrong you tube video and I now have a three piece suite made from old towels, however there are a few left what do you think about some loincloths a la tarzan? Got some nice Mauve flowery ones and I wont need very much material at all....

May I suggest before you plunge in to Moto Guzzi land you checkout this:

https://www.triumphmotorcycles.co.uk/motorcycles/classic/bonneville-street-twin

Should pass a few minutes...

Now you chill out Nellie before the dogs get back up - how many do you have?

Weather forecast here changed last night so we didn't get the storm and heats started to build already. Off to walk dogs shortly (in 2's otherwise its mayhem) before we hibernate for the day no cool spots in this house feels like the heating has been on full ... did check and no i hadn't flicked put the wrong switch!