Why is life so hard

Hi Karen and thank you for the kind words. Interestingly yesterday evening I took my language class and spoke freely about Carla to my students. I felt I should as one can relate stories and conversations for them to see 'real' English. I felt good during the class and we had a lot of fun.

The students homework is to invent a brand new English word or verb and apply it's meaning in three phrases. I created as an example. The verb 'Consogulate' which I made to mean a wet mess of something. (Italians cannot even contemplate the idea of tinned spaghetti) So I used the phrase "That canned spaghetti is just a consogulated mess"

All was well, but at 21:30 some two hours after the class I went into meltdown again and had another sleepless night spending much of it as a 'consogulated mess' I try to see progress as upwards but with many dips and troughs, however I'd say I'm pushing it too fast and trying to make gains on a daily basis which are not achievable, my worry is that it will all unravel at some point. So while outlook remains upbeat achievement since yesterday had plunged back over the abyss!!

So to all those who think I'm striding down the path of recovery head high looking at the bright and verdant hills of a purposeful future, I'm not I'm just about coping....

Love your new word, put me in mind of the Blackadder dictionary episode! 

I know I am 'consogulated' at the moment!! Even though we knew Colin didn't have very long left we didn't get round to him writing a will. Now I have to try to fill inheritance and probate forms and quite frankly they're doing my head in!!

I've given him a right bollocking a few times this week regarding failed attempts and then I've been a consogulated mess and stressing myself out!!

Look after yourself mcc mcc, you've done a lot in a short space of time :)

BootsyD

:)

Good old no will syndrome! Luckily for me our no will syndrome has rendered me outside of the probate process as we weren't married.

Carla sons bear the brunt of everything and I can't be given any probate as we have joint finances that need sorting. My nose is a bit out of joint but what can you do..

Expect some enquires as you are now the resident expert in these matters!!!!

Bugger!!!  

Ah. don’t get me wrong as none of us are looking at bright and verdant hills, of course your having meltdowns but you seem to have a positive mental attitude.

You just got to go with how you feel at the time and let it happen. Still though, you had a positive day with a lovely lesson given to your students.

There’s no right or wrong way to get through grief, I think the most important thing is not to be so hard on yourself and take one day at a time.

Much love and strength

karen

I confess getting to know and interact with all you guys is a great source of comfort, I have in my darker moments read and re read posts and responses. So to all here thank you!

I totally agree what you’re saying, it definitely helps, yeah thank you everyone xx