coping with grief during covid

Hello Isabela , I lost my husband on Christmas Eve 2019  after 52  years of being together. I've felt what's the point many times, it's only my daughter and grandchildren that keep me going. Oh , how different it would be if we had someone by our side to go through this awful time with. I'm scared of being ill and being on my own. I hate every day. Jane

Hi Isabela,

I lost my darling Bob on January 17th so very close to your husband. Like you this Isolation is doing nothing to help my grieving. I have a big close family but can't even see them at the moment so spending every day totally alone. I face time the children so my grandchildren don't forget me but at the end of the day all i want is a cuddle from them and i can't even do that. It is like grieving all over again and i cry A LOT. Like you i try and keep busy but find myself in tears doing the garden or cleaning and i run a lot and even cry when i'm running i just can't get over this. I feel like my heart is broken and I am no longer me and I have a big black cloud hanging over me.

I keep telling myself that Cancer has taken my Bob and I won't let it take me but it currently has done!!!!!!!!

Luckily I have never had dark thoughts which must be dreadful, I know mine is just pure grief. I am down for councelling from Mc Millan but was told about 8 weeks before this isolation so no idea when they will start and I met at a coffe morning for bereaved people also at McMillan for 1 morning and then of course those groups were closed.

I take each hour at a time and then hours have lead into another day that I have managed to struggle through. Chatting on here has been my life line as I know everyone on here is also grieving so I know I am not alone with the way I feel.

Keep chatting and putting one foot in front of the other.

Sheila x  

Hi Sheila,

Yes, I cry through gardening, walking, shopping, puzzles - all the things I try & do to keep me from folding. It’s just that, I want to be walking with John, shopping with him & doing everything we used to but I know I can’t & that’s when the tears start. It’s difficult finding any joy in anything at the moment I’m told it gets better but when I’m feeling really really low it doesn’t seem possible. The actual pain of heartache is difficult to describe and I think only those who have experienced such loss can know. We do have to keep going and that’s the hard part isn’t it? People who are ‘further down the road’ than we are have said that it does get easier but it can be difficult to believe at times especially in the present situation when as you said I would love a cuddle from my son but can’t even have that. Take care & stay safe

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Hi Jane,

Yes, that’s it isn’t it - I keep saying that I could handle the current situation ‘if only’.... friends phone and support me but they still have their husbands & partners with them. My son can no longer visit me and he was my rock through the past weeks, I just think I can’t take anymore but then another day dawns and I do get through it, sometimes with tears every minute, sometimes not as much. Stay safe

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Hi all,

I lost Ric on 28 Dec. I was keeping busy and planned to scatter his ashes next weekend..

I am nurse so having to work, not with Corona at the moment thankfully and lucky enough to have my children aged 20 and 16 at home with me. 

The last two days have been lonely. I have started again! Just spent half hour crying to my dad. People dying alone is bringing it all back to me! I just can't rationalise it. I am trying to put on a brave face but I am terrified of work as I have asthma and viruses and stress triggers it..

Just wish it would all go back to normal 

Love and hugs

Alison xxx

New to group

I lost my husband Christmas Day. Have been struggling on my own . Now in isolation re coronavirus

Never felt so alone

Sending you a big hug hanging on. I feel do lonely even with people about! 

Trying to pretend I am.ok at work! But I am not! 

Take care and keep posting Alison xxx

thank you Akela

I know i'm not the only one but never thought it could be so hard losing someone

With you on that one!! I thought I would find it easier than it has been xxx

Hi i lost my partner Christmas eve. The isolation is amplified with thie current corona virus instructions. It's hard because we've lost that person we most need at any time, it's doubly hard now. We want that hug of reassurance, someone to give a balanced opinion on things, I have lost all my confidence,, can't make a rational decision, worry about absolutely everything. I don't know how to cope, I feel so needy., Pam x