Overwhelmed again

Hi I stopped eating chocolate ages ago now I can’t help myself  I rather have my ashes  put into the wind  to be free I have Diane ashes here with me don’t know what to do with them was go scatter them somewhere where we fished can’t decide  

Life is do hard but it good to talk 

martin x

Yes it is good to talk its like your own counselling group.

My hubby did fishing as well, he also played the guitar and did lovely water colour paintings

 i have over 300 hundred up stairs.

Its hard regarding ashes, but i think i will keep him here and when my time comes we can both go back to Florida on the beach.

We where together in life  and would like to be together  on the final journey, we both loved Florida and wanted to go back but never got the chance.

Did you and your wife have a favorite fishing spot that you think she would like, very peaceful, i went a few times but only to sit very calm surroundings.

Take Care Ellie xx

Hi all I’m eating my body weight in biscuits! I also talk to my Bobs picture every night and also beg him to “come back” I sleep with an unwashed shirt that smells of him. I’m surviving but no longer living. Im no longer Sheila she disappeared when my Bob died. Nothing means anything anymore.

i also need to make a decision on what to do with his ashes I can’t face having them at home and I need them to be set free.

Another day survived by all of us survivors. One foot in front of the other. Hope you all get some sleep between the tears.

Sheila x

Have you tried counselling yet  does it help   Where I went to she like it their We use to go to a place just outside Melton Mowbray on a fishing holiday that was very peaceful place you could chill out  but the two cocker spaniels were in kennels  we took them with us one year  they barked at fish in the landing nets lol  it was funny tho we went on a couple of cruises to they were good 

its a hard decision to make what do with them  and to keep plodding along every day 

Martin x

Hi me and Ellie have gone down the chocolate root instead have you tried putting your hand on the box or urn and feeling a strange feeling like I did   A strange sensation you could call it I ask my wife to come home for chat every night just for a hour    You had good times together in the past together  they are in your head heart and soul  close your eyes and you will be together that’s what I do even if I’m crying 

martinx 

No i have not had an counselling as yet, my GP asked me if i needed it and also the Hospice where he passed, i left it open.

Just think where would Diane like to be, where was her favorite place, but you only do it when your ready to let go.

I always put my hand on his ashes every night  and say goodnight got threw another day, see you in the morning.

Its a decision  we have to make and threw life we always made decision's together so you have to make sure your making the right one on this occasion.

Take Care Ellie xx

Hi Sheila

Your not alone i have never eat so much chocolate he would be having a go if he was here., because then i would be saying i need some new clothes these are getting a bit tight.

Your right we are not living, no one really knows what this fills like unless they have lost some one., it is something i cannot even explain to my children, they just do not get it.

You have to do what is right for you and what your hubby would want, with his ashes, Everyone is different i have to say i get comfort knowing they are there, he is still home.I am know longer me,was always the two of us so who am i a lost soul.

We do get threw one day at a time and people do not know how hard that is, some days it is so exhausting.

Take Care Ellie x 

I also eat a lot of chocolate and junk food I do cook a bit but sometimes can’t be bothered ,and just have more chocolate.i put my hand on Winnie’s teardrop urn every night an say goodnight. Then when in bed talk to her photo and tell her what happened during the day. I am keeping her ashes until I go then mixing them together and our children are going to scatter them . 
everyone feels different about what they want to do. Hope you all sleep as good as you can. 
Mike. 

I have been eating loads of chocolate too, I keep promising myself I won't buy it because then I can't it eat! I am putting on weight which is rubbish in.lots of ways! I don't want to do this as I lost 2 stone with slimming world and Ric was proud of me and so was I. I have a holiday booked to Italy in July, if I can go!!! So I don't want to be a Roly poly then!!! Lol.

Putting on weight also upsets my joints and arthritis and I hurt and ache! Which is happening. I need to stop it sooner rather than later. I can't rejoin slimming world as now working on shifts and it is more difficult to get there. Although I did enjoy it, might try and find a Saturday group! 

A miserable day on the weather front today! I would love to get out in the garden,bi bought a few spring plants and I need to cheer it up where I had my tree down! I feel a bit rough still with a bit of s cold and pretty unmotivated!!!

Need to.pull myself together today and face the week! Still got to write that coroner's report but I know if I do it today it will reduce me to tears. Not a strong enough day! Another week next week!!! 

Love and hugs and have a good Sunday xxx

I've already had a chocolate egg this morning! I'm feeling very low today, could just sit and cry. Had argument with teenage son about his untidiness. He had a dishwasher full load of dishes in his room and used 6 towels showering this morning...all on the floor! I usually let it drop but I just blew this morning, now I'm feeling guilty (don't know why, he is very selfish).

I'm off to work at 12 so I'll be distracted for 4 hours. Who would have thought I'd ever offer to work on a Sunday! When Mark was here we would have lazy breakfast, maybe coffee out and probably lunch out too, then we'd snuggle down and watch a movie in afternoon or walk the dog if weather was nice......oh how life changes. Used to be lovely now it is shit!

On top of that I have been waiting since December for his pension payout and they've done it this week when the market has fallen so I'll be short by thousands!

Hope everyone is having a better day than me.

Ali x