Positive achievements in our darkest journey

Another achieve - I’ve shaved my legs! Might not seem a biggie but when you lose all sense of self pride when nothing matters after the loss of your loved one.

Sheila

Everything we do is a achievement just get out of bed   And trying to get through the day even though the loneliness hurts and you you just want to say good morning take care love you like you always use to everyday   How do you keep going on  I feel like I plod through the day 

Martin x

Dear Martin, I do feel for you. It is such early days for you. In my early days I could barely get out of bed and walked around the house sobbing, staying up all night and eating rubbish

I am 14 weeks in and can honestly say that it does start to get easier. I have more good days than bad and I am not crying every day. Just a meltdown now and then but i think that will always happen.

My sleeping pattern is improving slightly but need to work on my diet, still eating rubbish.

I have had 6 weeks group counselling at the hospice and I think it has helped speaking to people all in the same horrible situation. We are all meeting up for lunch in 2 weeks, the group has become a bit of a comfort blanket.

Just keep plodding on Martin through each hour, day, week, it is all we can do for now until that gut wrenching pain is manageable.

Love Ali x

Sheila you do make me laugh, but I have achieved that too LOL

Thank you Ali 

I will try to keep plodding but some day are hard I get go to work  12 hours later I come home and their no one their 

I do try and cook dinner every nite but only eat half   I have applied for counselling because my wife died so quick told on the Friday died following Friday  I was busy arranging the funeral I’ve to finish sorting her estate now I feel like I stopped 

I had her my tattooed on my back 5 years ago the other week I put her date of birth and date of death tattooed under it 

Martin x

Hi Ellie

Wow, the gig was amazing!

when my niece and I were waiting for gig starting we were standing chatting. A warm gush of air shot through the middle of us, so strong that we both looked at each other and jumped back at the same time.

That was defo my husband letting us know he was with us.

We are so pleased we went. I actually felt so calm and relaxed as I could feel him with us and at one point could feel him cuddle me.

in life we were so close, almost telepathic, I’m sad he is not here in body but he certainly is in spirit and that makes me get up in the morning and get on with my day, however slow that day might turn out. 

I hope we all continue to take our small steps forward carrying our loved ones with us.

some days we might need to re evaluate what a small step is and of course we will continue to have our not so good days, but we are all here to support each other through those days and celebrate our steps forwards too.

much love

Hi Ebony12

That has made me smile, if you had not gone, you would not of felt your hubby, but he was with you and was singing along with you.

I bet he was happy that you made the right decision and was waiting.

Today you will fill so much lighter if only for a short while so it was worth it.

We never know how we might fill tomorrow, so make the most of today and a lovely memory of the gig.

Take Care Ellie xx

"You Never Walk A Lone" 

Its hard Martin, but glad to see you are using the group, every day is different, some ups but a lot of downs.

You are not alone we are all here to support one another, it good moments and bad.

Take Care Ellie xx

"You Never Walk A Lone"

Hi Ellie 

I know it’s hard for every body on here I look at the posts I got up this morning and felt so down went work sat in my truck cried  every nite I ask Diane to come and see me and sit and have a chat with me  I’m doing my best like all of us  are trying to do sometimes it just  get to much 

I’ve only started going shopping again on a Saturday morning use to go in evenings to not see many people 

martin x

Hi Martin,I hope that today you don't feel too down.I wish I could take your pain away. I understand how you ask your wife to visit every night. Every night I ask Ken if he will come and cuddle me, I kiss his photo and tell him how much I love him. Today I have made a booking on a rescue cat in the local rehoming center. I hate coming home to an empty house. I think he will be a cuddle monster, which is what I wanted. He was very neglected when he was signed over so still not looking his best. His name is William, I feel quite excited. I hope every step forward is a positive one  for us all and that as they stay, every journey begins with one small step. Please take care, Pam, 

Hi Pam  I run my fingers down Diane pictures I think we all on the site do it and still talk to them seems natural   We use to have two cocker spaniels Marley and Ellie  they could be a hand full when Diane died my niece found new homes for them being at work all the time I could not look after them  I hope William will give you loads of cuddles and fun. 
martin