loss

Oh dear, we do all seem to be going round in the same circle. I too have cried and asked for him back now as I've had enough and it hurts so much. Today has been a weird day, I have stayed in bed all day and felt almost numb, hardly any tears. I have been thinking how much better off financially if it had been me instead of him and wondering  how he would have coped. As I say a weird day!

Children will be home for dinner soon so have to get up and put my mask on and tell them I've had a good day!

Love to you all x

Putting a face on for our children and family is an indication of our strength and a realisation that although they are heartbroken for their father/mother their own life goes on and that is good. Staying in bed is good too. Being warm and sinking into memories is wonderful until you wake and remember he has gone. I too think about how he would cope if it was reversed. Good question about finances. How much time do we have to grieve when money is not an option compared to having to make ends meet   Tell your kids how you feel. They probably know anyway. Thinking of you. Nothing I can say will make it better. Just keep on keeping on.  

I hate, when people are asking me 'Are you OK? Of course I'm not! I never answer this question. How could I possibly be! Or Did you have a nice weekend? No, I didn't! I am still breathing and that's it!

Two questions I trully hate! I know, people are trying to be courteous, but I wish, they just did not ask 

sounds like we have all had a similar day today,I too have had a bad day cried alot sighed alot,just want my husband to come back,its only been nearly 8 weeks for me but today it felt like  years ago,time is a very strange thing.Everyone says I am doing well as I do function but no one can fully understand what I am going through,I have a quite good day then the bad day takes over,I try to keep thinking just do a day at a time but then sometimes even that gets to be too much to deal with.Sorry to moan but I know everyone understands on here.

Laura x

Thanks Ellie,

Am a bit of a luddite where technology is concerned!

I understand completely re melt downs over the 'blue jobs'. .. . we had 'pink' and 'blue' jobs and now all mine and purple!  I sometime feel so panicky over everything! 

I definitely am glad I joined the group.  talking the same things through helps.....as lots of folk have said unless you have been through this dreadful ordeal it is impossible to understand. 

Take care Sandra

I often wonder to how Winnie would have coped if it was the other way round. But I am glad it’s not the other way around as I would hate to see my darling suffer the way we are all suffering, before Winnie got ill we would joke about that we would both go together, as we did everything together. It’s no joke now. 
I hate it as well when people ask how are you, and I say just coping, when I would like to say I don’t know how I am going to live without her , no future that I can see the loneliness and empty house is souldistroying and much more. But all I can say is “ just coping “   
Mike. 

I have found writing everything down you need to do  as the brain fog get you  I'm just over 7 months some days I get through but lots are very sad but this weekend was terrible tearfull and really down I hope you do feel a little better tomorrow 

Yesterday I was very tearfull my wife must have seen me as I went to bed on the floor was a White feather perhaps a sign that she was with me I hope I did feel better knowing that someone was there watching me 

They do say thy will send a sign Ian and a white Feather is one of them.

Some one is watching over you.

Take Care Ellie xx

"You Never Walk A Lone"

My partner and I Talked about her letting me know she was ok......she would drop ten pence pieces for me.....I have had several turn up in bizarre places! It helps x