loss

I'm so sorry for your loss. I sent a very similar post this morning (8 weeks down the line) above yours as I was feeling like you. Don't say sorry for the gloom, I did exactly the same and had some lovely responses and it did make me feel better that I wasn't alone. It is a horrible time we are all trying to get through and some days are better than others.

Take care of yourself. Ali x

Never a need for an apology here. This is not the life any of us here would have chosen. 

Take care

Ain't that the truth......I hadnt thought about it until my partners nurses said to me....you have had this forced on you! .....never was part of the big scheme of things!. .....so feeling totally lost seems a very natural thing to feel I suppose, but the hardest thing i find is when people tell me i will have to carve a life for myself.  It's easy for them to, careingly, say join groups, clubs, etc....for most of my life I have had An Other to do that with......at 63 I find it terrifying and if I am honest dont think I can! 

Hi there join the club I don't think I can do those things either I now hate this life and just wander through it at the moment with no interest at all 

I totally understand that. my family get cross/upset as they sayI have them to be around for but they all lead busy lives and are carrying g on with them as normal(rightly so) but my life is shattered and some days it truly feels like I am I  gods waiting room! 

likewise sorry for your loss. you are so right about differences in days!  This week I have had what I consider really good days but they where completely blown out of the water by bad days.  Those kind of days feel as if they destroy any progress. xx

I’m not sure there is any kind of progress when it comes to existing without the person we loved  I can’t separate my husband who is very much alive in my mind from my husband who is very much dead in the world. I have had so many words from people that mean well but they just don’t get it. I want to behave like a child and say I’m not playing anymore more I want him back. But there is only emptiness and longing and missing. I hate this and I miss him so. 

Witches, i am glad you are finding your way about.

Every one is so nice on the group and we all understand where you are, its early days for you.Mine is 3 months now, it seems so much longer at times.

Unless you are in this situation  no one knows what it fills like but we do.

Even though my kids have lost there dad, i lost the other half of me, and at times i do not know who i am.as it was always two of us.

Every day for me is a different emotion,  i had a complete melt down on Friday, all because the central heating thermostat  broke, my hubby used to do all the fixing and DIY i run the house older generation i think.

Today different frame of mind playing all the songs he used to sing along to and that is what i have been doing

We can only take one day at a time, i tell him every night when going to bed got threw another day.

I hope you gain a bit  of strength from the group as i have.

Take Care Ellie xx

"You Never Walk A Lone"

Hi Owl58, 

You have just described it exactly the way I feel too. Word by word. There is no progress. It's just a kind of existence. 

' I want to behave like a child ' I am not playing anymore. I want him back! '

Yes, every word describes the way I feel too. 

I keep looking at my husbands photos everyday and asking him to come back. We are supposed to be together and do things, we had planned. Our journey could not have ended here, when we had so many plans. 

How cruel this life is. 

Sending you my love. 

Take care the best you can. 

It’s just over 6 months since my wife died of melanoma, sometime I have a sort of good day but still mostly bad. Today was especially bad , it felt like it all happened yesterday ,I just laid on the couch and had a good cry. Today I didn’t care if I lived or died. Not that I would call this living , it’d just existing, trying to get through one day only to start another one. I talk to my wife every day and kiss her picture before I go to sleep. Even though it’s been over six months I still can’t believe I am never going to see her again.
like you all we had planned for future. Now there is no future, this life is shit.
Mike