Feeling lost.

Hi Andrea, Mark ,Ian . Hope you are all keeping as well as you can. I agree with everything you have all said , I still wonder around from room to room completely lost . Xmas I am dreading it and will be glad when it is all over. I am also dreading going into 2020 as it will be the firs year that we all start without our wife’s/ husband, friend and soulmate. Thinking of you all at this time.

Mike  

Hi Mike 

I hope we are all not feeling this low, at the end of next year. 

I have a feeling that we will all be just as sad next year as we will never forget our loved one and miss them so much

Dear Everyone 

As some of you  know its 5 months since I lost my soul mate. For a time I used to wish I could wave a magic want and bring Anne back but then I realised something. How cruel it would be to see my darling back  with all the illnesses she suffered including the cancer  along with the constant hospital, clinic and doctors appointments. Yet how worrying it would be to have my Anne back fully fit at 71 but knowing she might then, at a later time, have to go through the hell I am now should I pass. I wouldn't wish that on anyone let alone my sweet darling.  It's a catch 22 situation isn't it ? Despite my grief,  and lonlyness in the house, a part of me knows Anne is where she now needs to be. At total peace and surrounded by love and healing. No more suffering. As a small aside, and as a result of personal experiences plus much research in the right places, including people in the medical and caring professions, there is enough evidence to show that there is another dimension our souls move onto after passing. As I mentioned, one of pure love, peace, and healing. A 'Heaven' if you will.Yet like all of us experiencing  our terrible journey, I plod on from day to day just simply surviving. Whether I will ever get to 'live' again I have my doubts. That huge empty void inside of me just can't be filled at my age.  

Love and Light 

Geoff.

I think you speak for all of us Geoff we all have that empty feeling devoid of any happiness I know we are all going to what you call heaven as we are all going through hell at the moment 

Dear all, I have felt progressively worse as Christmas approaches I was in get it off my chest mode and was thinkng of posting when I came across this thread and as always it reflects how I'm feeling.

It's almost 5 months and some days are ok but recently, I keep bursting into tears, the terrible thought of never seeing my soulmate Amanda ever again keeps hitting me, I've put the tree up decorated it but all the time thinking have I done it how she would want? I'm getting away from home for actual Christmas, I can't face being in the empty house without her.

Then the question that won't go away WHY her? I'm sure many if us feel this.

More of our family have passed from Cancer since Amsnda her Cousin in August now her Neice from Breast Cancer it's just a nightmare it brings so much emotion and bad memories. I've been sending messages out to family but if I read them back it's so painful I can't stop the feelings and there not good.

So for me it's not getting better it's not getting easier the loss is just so painful l literally feel an actual part of me is missing.

It's good to be able to get it out there with people that understand thanks to all of us for being there for listening and for understanding I won't wish you a happy Christmas, but I will wish you all the best and hope we all get through it as best we can. Me I can't wait to see this year end.

Gary

Hi Gary it must be very hard on you losing so many family members in such a short space of time. I agree I can’t wait for this year to be over. The only problem is starting a new year without our loved ones won’t be easy. I didn’t put a tree up but just a few decorations around the place. It isn’t getting any easier and the loneliness is a killer. 

I had a dream last night that Winnie called my name and kissed me it really made me feel a bit better and was so clear. I usually ant remember dreams but this one I could ( thank god ).

Like you I won’t wish you merry Xmas, only that I hope it goes ok.

Mike  

Hello everyone, also feeling worse as Christmas approaches. And now I’m writing this in a dark cold broken down car, waiting for the garage to arrive and rescue me. Could scarcely feel worse. Just want to be at home with the curtains closed, the fire lit, and the dog for company. Trying very hard to keep it together- can’t panic. Have to cope with this on my own but good to know you are all here on the forum. 

We are yes and hope you get home safely

Hi Alison 

I lost our dog 2 months after losing my wife. Double whammy. Take as much comfort from your dog as you can duck, it's so much harder when you lose your dog as well your other half.