Visits in your dreams

thanks Geoff, I am sure he will. This is the physical manifestation of all that has happened to me since Johns diagnosis in 2015.  I have massive memory problems and concentration issues. Even had dementia tests twice but put down to anxiety and stress. I often don't know what I am doing or why within seconds of making a decision. This year has been the worst. A three and a half cancer trail to hell, my cancer diagnosis even as John was dying followed by 5 other deaths inc toddler grandson. Coulda coped with it all if John was here... now just me. just horrendous.

Gary I wish my friend I could tell you after nine months (tomorrow) it gets better and I was all wrong, but no. Our daughter in same boat as yours as she was besotted with her dad and vice versa. She helped to nurse him for a long time. She says she hears him call her name for help, Sometime I hear him say Val, but not for a few weeks now. I am still getting flashbacks of point of death. Autistic son not coping and its not helpedwith John and grandson dying so close together. You may be right about the cancer link this is interesting as we all have had massive stress and anxiety hits in the lead up to the worst and final event. Thank you for your thoughts and wishes, which I return with heartfelt appreciation of your own situatio. Dreams are not everything. Mine as few as they are are more nightmares lately. I have found though that if I ask a question or for help, I get that help or the question answered even if it is only partially. But I think we are all united in the fact that we want a physical presence, touch, voice, movement and or love xxxx I send you a hug. I highly recommend her pillow with a garment of hers on with a bit of her perfume. It sometimes makes me nowty mine is not him, but often it is a comfort I know he would be there if he could. I spent last few days in bed wallowing in horrendous grief and sobbing....so even thats no cure. Not the riht word of course, but best i can offer. xx

Nettie I can relate to much of what you say.  I do feel when I have asked John for help he has given it, over and above my expectations sometimes and often in spite of me myself as well. But I remain dissatisfied because he is not physcially here. I don't think i will ever feel any different, and like some of the others on here i simply do not want to continue to exist without him. I know its so negative but it is what it is. 

My dear Wildcat,

There are indeed fundamental differences between all kinds of churches. However they have one resounding connection and that is they are all meant to be 'God's House' and as such attenders have enough curiosity to moot a belief in God at some point.

I simply do not believe in God. At the points when I have given the opportunity I have never known a time where I feel I have been answered or reasons presented themselves to me. I am angry at everything, but as I don't believe in God there is nowt to be angy at. I guess at times I slip and am SO angry I can even be nowty at the mere possibility of his, her or it's existence. Thats how fierce my emotions are at times. Sometimes they are reasonable and sometimes eccentric. Shrugs, it is what it is.  Were I to visit a spiritualist church, depending on my mood, the merest hing of G.O.D. might send me scuttling home. I certainly would not be prepared to do no praying. NO chance.

Thank you Darkhorse123 for your reply.

I too do not believe in God because all the different representations of God are simply man made  -   conjured by religions. And to me thats where the problems arise. We are made to believe that God is ' a person.' and as such we can reason with him ( notice its nearly always a him ?) And so when people don't get what they ask for it can naturally set  up disapointment, maybe resentment. Indeed even wars! I simply believe in what I call 'The Cosmic Consciousness' a power source that created and set up the whole cosmic phenominour but which can't be spoken to because there isn't anybody  to speak to. Rather like electricity. So where do I go from here? Somehow I know that in the next spiritual dimension, where we all originated from and so return to when we pass, there are healing souls/spirits who have also trodden our path on this earth plain that now devote their existance to healing our earthly  minds and bodies as best they are able if we simply ask with complete sincerely. But they aren't 'Gods' Like human doctors they can only do so much; never the impossible. And for other reasons I wont get on my soap box about, everyone of us has ' A Time'  when we have to pass over and back to spirit. Once again, for me,  I know the healing spirits kept my dear Anne as well as they could for many years until it was inevitably 'Her Time' to pass. And just to  finish my long diatribe dear Darkhorse. Neither the  Cosmic Consciousness nor the healing souls/spirits need worshipping, praising, or have hymns sung to them. All I have spoken about is a natural part and parcel of the Cosmic workings.  I hope just a small part of what I've shared may resonate in a positive and comforting way.

Light and Love 

Geoff.

Hi Nettie27 and all,

Nettie27, it was lovely to read your post and know that you are still here - and of course how you have been getting on.

I completely agree with what you, Nettie27, say in your post. I, too, believe that Paul is with me somehow but in a different, non-physical, form and I feel that a lot of the things that happen to me now are as a result of his guidance. But how can we be sure? But, as you say, it doesn't really matter as long as it gives us comfort.

I am not sure if I would go to see a medium. Perhaps I would. But, as you say, I look at them and what they have to say with scepticism. But then I do that with everything. The only thing.

Love, Mel.

Hi Darkhorse, I have just read your post and note you have had a reply and the thread continues. Can i say that i have no wish to press my beliefs or religion on anyone. I do believe we were created by something, An energy force. This force is known by all religions by different names, we know it as God but can name it anything. The thing to remember is that we can ask God for anything and we will get an answer, but don't expect the answer we would like. God can say no. We may not get the answer we want but we do get answers. It is only when we pass that we will truly know everything. Break down the human body and we end with atoms, break down anything and we end up with atoms. Atoms are energy, Energy cannot be destroyed therefore we, our spirit or soul cannot be destroyed and lives on for eternity. Our loved ones therefore live on around us in a different dimension we know as the Spirit Realm.

Dear Terry, I am sorry if you thought I said you were imposing your beliefs upon others.  That was not my intention.I also was not aware that ettiquette on here dictates that you ask something, get one answer then the thred stops, so I do apologise if I upset you or anyone else for not grasping this.  I am only responding because I didn't want to bow out on a bum note as it were. Everyone on here has been through difficult experiences and I don't want to make that worse nor make myself feel worse or any more worthless than I already feel (that would be difficult beyond description, but I ain't challenging fate).

I am not anti religion beause I feel if anyone gets comfort from whatever they believe, religious or otherwise, that is a wonderful thing. It is just not for me. There is one fundamental difference I feel between us and that is you believe some entity made us and I don't. Many times I have asked questions or been in churches begging for help or answers and all i got was a wall of silence. No answers either there or later on outside as daily life continued.  The only 'help' I know or like to think I know emanates from the essence of those we love strongly which continues somehow, somewhere, but it is I guess also my perception and partly hope because it is what I want to believe and because I want to reunite. Not sure there is a realm where the essence of those we love and lost repose or gather, spirit or otherwise. I just don't know anything. I only know howI feel. I can't speak for anyone else.

If you have found like minded people and help and comfort I am genuinely please for you and indeed all those concerned. Please don't feel I took umbridge thinking you were being oppressive about religion as nothing is further from the truth. There are some instances in which I am somewhat whistful in that I think you are rather lucky in fact. I am truly sorry for any hurt you might have felt. I do thank you for your post. I will look at mine and see if I can learn from any mistakes you perceived. I don't intend to continue this though because it was not expected to continue. Thank you for your patience and hope it clears things up. Good luck to you my friend.

wow Geoff, that really was something. I sadly don't believe in any entity, conscious especially. However I do believe where strong enough, the essence of each individual goes on at least for a certian amount of time and can offer solutions and even physical manifestations. Beyond that I am pretty much stumped. I certainly could not really contemplate any meaningful worship when i get nothing back except from the essence of the people I loved and am parted from, so I agree with you on that. I also agree it is part of the natural process of being. It is the one thing we are all certain of that if we are born, so will we die.I am very glad to receive your point of view and feel you are so very lucky but sadly for me at least for now, there is no convincing. I don't like any of the terms I have heard both on here and in real life such as moving on, moving forward, coming to terms, getting on with the inevitibility of life, looking to the future etc. It may be how I am dealing with things (or rather, not) or being an ostritch, or a turtle, but that is the miserable place I am and however unpleasant or torturous that is, its where I feel I am.  Thank you so much for your kindness. It isn't diatribe and I shall read it more than once.  Love Val

Dear Darkhorse

I agree with you whole heartedly about the usual platitudes bandied about by well meaning people following a bereavement. Here's  another that really grates on me 'Time is a great healer.'  The beliefs I expressed in my original post are simply as a result of practically a life time study of religions and spiritual matters. I found that once I cast aside the myths, wishful thinking, superstitions, the delusional, the fraudulent, and power seeking ploys the remaining essence started to form a pattern. And strangely a part of that  pattern that has been scientifically researched  in a book by Dr. Penny Sartori called The Wisdom of Near Death Experiences. Penny was a palliative nurse who conducted a 5yr research in hospital whilst working for the NHS. among folk who were dying. A  fascinating read. And strangely since my beloved Anne has passed I've had many undeniable signs shown to me in our house that she has indeed passed on happily and continues to visit me in spirit. But  I'm usually very careful about who I discuss my beliefs and evidence with as it can create in many, embarrassment or doubting statements - intrestingly and especially from men!  However despite all of this my grief is the same as everyone else's:  bouts of anger. Guilt. And uncontrollable grief attacks. So  knowing what I know doesn't let me off the hook. After all I'm human just like the rest of us. Stay safe my good friend.

Love and Light 

Geoff.