After a few days of not to bad I'm now back to the stage of waiting for her to come home I thought I had got over that bit got up this morning thinking she was up getting ready for work then the door slammed in my face when I realized it was not true another crap day now
Hi there, I’m glad you had a few not too bad days. Me too. I wonder if this is how it will be? Good days and bad ones? Prior to the weekend I’d been feeling awful even though my daughter was staying. I felt close to tears constantly.
I hope you can find something absorbing to keep you busy today. Be really kind to yourself. I’m going for a run with the dog shortly and meeting a friend for coffee.
Alison
Trying to be like the tree that bends with the wind and rain and thus weathers the storm
Thank you I'm still working so some of my days are filled with distractions but on the bad days I still feel like my heart is being ripped out and a lump in my throat even after 4 months I hope your run and coffee goes well and you have a nice day
After just over 3 months since losing my Anne I'm now getting flash backs along with emotional outbursts of my time at the hospital where she passed away. I slept by her bed every other night whilst my daughter covered the other shift. I must have been blocking all this out whilst I looked after the only love of my life. I remember how strong I was all that time and couldn't understand it. But now the emotional trauma is hitting me. They are strange flash backs like walking through the closed, lonely,and very quiet hospital corridors late in the evening to go to the A&E entrance/ exit to pop out for a ciggie. The lift that took me to the 3rd floor where my darlings private room was. And seeing the white dove that perched on Annes window sill a few days before she passed. All so vivid I could be doing it right now. Im sure theres going to be a lot more that up until now Ive been blocking out. And its Anne's birthday tomorrow the 30th.
Love and Light
Geoff.
At the end of all our journeying will be to find ourselves back where we started knowing the place for the first time. TS ELIOT.
It’s weird isn’t it? The being strong whilst it’s happening. They ( whoever they are) say you don’t know how strong you are until you have to be. I hope that these vivid memories will eventually become precious more than painful and that her birthday tomorrow is not too hard for you. How wonderful that you had such a great love.
Alison
Trying to be like the tree that bends with the wind and rain and thus weathers the storm
The funny thing is I never considered myself strong. I was just doing what had to be done and more than anything else, I was fighting for my husband's life.
Geoff, I hope the day goes relatively well for you. People say the bad memories fade away eventually while the good ones remain. I hope your day will be filled with good memories.
Yes you are right theses flashbacks seem so real they are very hard to live with as well I'm hoping that they ease off for both of us horrible pull you to bits
I get flashbacks too. The days in the hospital, then carrying about my husband and home and having the paramedics at home on his final hours. I too hope, this will eas by time, but its doubtful as we cannot just wipe out memories.
Thinking of you Geoff. Try to think of the lovely memories you had together with your beloved wife today on her birthday.
I know, its hard, bit I hope, the day goes well for you.
