Wedding Anniversary today

Hi Ruby Diamond. I feel so sad for you own your own on your 15 anniversary. I am only 8 weeks in so have still got that to face. I don’t know if you drink or not but if you do raise a glass of wine to Rob tonight and have a little talk with him. 

13 years is such a short time to be with your loved one , I was married for 43 years and still think that wasn’t long enough. 

Give yourself a break today and just do what you want to do. 

Thinking of you. 

Mike. 

Thank you Mike

I had a cry when I first woke up and will definitely have a cry when I go to bed. No amount of time is long enough your right.

Thank you for your reply 

Hi Ruby Diamond,

So sorry to hear this is sad. 

Can you tell your mum how your feeling, go out in the sunshine and go for a walk and do something nice for yourself. 

Do not do the cleaning and house chores today.. it is not just another day. 

Must be so hard, sending you strength today x

Hi ruby have a long walk round the shops get yourself a present it will remind you of a special day I posted a letter in the bird box that is over her ashes on anniversary and or course tears but I hope she was watching

Thanks for the replies.

Had a lovely but sad visit to Rob in the sun, I also walked the grounds of the fabulous castle we were married in. 

There really is no point I have found trying to talk to my mum about my feelings. She just changes the subject or says we all understand!!! People often think they understand but clearly they don't. You on here are the only people who understand and who I open up to.

I had hoped while I was out someone from Robs family would have posted a "thinking of you" card but I'm annoyed I got my hopes up. I haven't had a phone call from them for over a year so why would they bother now.

I will make abit of tea for everyone and then probably go to bed early. Bed is where I talk to Rob and look at all my photos, sad and happy ones. 

I hope you are all having an ok as you can day 

Hi Ruby,

I am so sorry you are feeling sad today. I read your message earlier today but had to rush to work. I was thinking about you and have taken a moment out.

I had my first anniversary summer just gone and told Richard's family that I would like to have a family get together in the garden as that's where we got married the year before. From expecting a house full, I was on my own.

I thought it would be nice as we had all lost the same person and we could support each other. I am not bitter as everyone has there own way of grieving and I think feelings were still so raw.

I am starting to think that I may have my own "ritual". Something simple like going for a walk in a nice park. That way I always have something planned. 

And yes, you are right that people don't understand unless you have gone through it yourself. However, it does not stop you sometimes wanting someone to go with and through your loss with you. It would be nice if it were in person but atleast that is something we all get here.

Sending you lots if love and virtual hugs,

Dutsie x

Thank you Dutsie

It is a relief to know we all get it, but so hard to understand particularly why family who have also lost that person aren't more sympathetic.

I cannot imagine how you must have felt on your anniversary. How sad for you. I feel sad for Rob that his family seem to have forgotten him, maybe not but it's us they have ignored. 

I just wish people would talk about Rob, I miss hearing about him, it's only memories my son's and I can talk about now. Very sad.

Thanks for the hug it's much appreciated, sending one back 

Totally sympathise with yo Ruby and others. 

It was my our anerversary 29th August and the second one without my Audrey. Like you nobody said a thing. I did say to my mum, a couple of days after, she said oh I new it was a special day but could not remberer why. 

It hit me a lot harder than I expected, I've hardly got out of bed since, saying to myself, I'll get it together tommorow. Maybe tommorow I will. 

My familly are fed up with me taking about her, because I get upset. I actually thought my family were better than that. 

So I'm trying to keep it all in. 

Funny, they can't wait to tell me about their own misfortunes. 

Xxx 

Rolf

It really is upsetting and disappointed that people don't remember or mention our missing halves. 

I too keep it in now. I just get frustrated, cry and never get my point across if I try and ask. Then my mum takes offence and I end up apologising for upsetting her. Not the fact that I've been upset all day!!

It's so good to talk on here

Ruby

My stepson his wife kids father-in-law when we get together we always talk about my wife what she would have said or done it's best for all the family to talk about it I think it helps with healing