Alcohol

Couldn’t agree more Anne. 

Mike 

I lost my dad to cancer.  And I ended up in rehab .. Way I coped at the time... Alchol.. Became dependent  And that's crap.. After having to I've seen alot of stuff .. Alchol not good.. Spent 6 months in rehab....Still struggling... But on right meds now and in therapy ... I couldn't stress more . Don't do go down that route ... It's crap .. I ended up in a tent one point.. And just sleeping wherever... But people know . I can't tell you or anyone . Because . Won't take any notice .. One person who got me through.. Everything.. Is the one person I can't see or talk to.... When partner diagnosed with cancer.. Few months ago . My head . I do suffer from mental health issues to.. Even now . Got no one to talk to and partner got a 3,,monthly test... Won't let me in . I have to accept thaAnd that's bloody hard . The one person who looks like a after you . I've got someone to blame for losing my dad . And many others who worked where my dad did.. They look after you .. Believe me . Everyone thinks   I keep my dad alive no matter how difficult.. Alchol is a depressant.. I should know . And do know .. Xx worst ever thing you can look upon for...... Because makes you feel even more crap . Been to zero and beyond . Zero . Worst ever thing I did.. Looking down bottom of a bottle..

Just talk  talk talk .. Throw things etc... Sony Xperia phones are very durable.. I throw mine across the room all the time... Still working.. Just keep reaching out... And talking 

Hi Quirkybird, I

 feel you have Been through a lot, I am sorry for your pain, I was only offering advice, to this lady,  I will not do that again, Advice is advice, take it leave it.  They won't hear from me again,  take care bed.

M.

I can tell you not to drink . But like said .. Hey.. I didn't take any notice.. Because I thought.... This that... You don't know how I feel..  Don't tell me how to feel .. And I still struggle with that one.. Still . And I drank . My best friend . Bottle of wine .. Then two .. Then two and gin etc ..

I know you like myself struggling.. I know that... I get it .. I watched my dad .. I can't even say it still .. 

Because .. Anyway..

. I think you know.... And worst thing is people telling you how you should feel .. Etc ... The drink bit... People don't understand . I do..

It's up to you if you want to drink but I think you know .. Anyway... That it's.. But I can't tell you and not going to .. Because like myself you have a way .. All individual, but . Just talk . I didn't .. And ended up in a right .... I've had people walk across the road .. Because don't know what to say . I've been locked in aunty and uncle s car whilst saying.. About time.. Sorted out ... I've had the.. Should be moving on, been sitting outside funeral... Every night for 6 months until my dad was back getting totally drunk because . .. I get it .. What get me through now is... What would my dad be saying.. If saw me like this... Person who keeps me going and my partner 

Dear Anne,

I am exactly the same. I never used to drink more than a glass of wine or two in one month. Now I am drinking at least one gin and tonic every night (when I have visitors I easily drink three or four) and, if I don't have gin and tonic, I have one or two or three glasses of wine. Never during the day but in the evening. It's not that I do it because I feel bad and need that. It's more that it gives me some comfort and, also, it tastes nice and is a way of relaxing after a long day. I don't depend on drink as there have been evenings recently when I didn't drink anything at all and of course that's fine. But if something is in the house I like it and I will do it.

This is a forum for bereaved spouses and partners. I don't think that we should have people posting here about losing their dads, mums, daughters or sons. There should be a separate forum for that as they experience a different loss. I am not saying a worse or better loss or any such rubbish, but they experience something different.

Love, Mel.

Hi Mel

I have reported my concerns about two of the people who have posted on this thread, as I feel that to be a member of this forum one has to have lost a spouse/partner, surely that should be obvious. There are separate forums for other types of bereavement - as you say, it's still awful, but it's different. And there are also forums for those who are not bereaved but are suffering from cancer, they should not be posting on this one. And should certainly not be standing in judgement when they have no idea what they're talking about.

Like you, I find that having a couple of drinks in the evening makes me feel more relaxed, and takes the edge off the loneliness, which I find is worse in the evenings. John and I were often in different rooms during the early evening after dinner, as we had rather different tastes in TV programmes! But every evening around 9pm unless we were out or had friends round, he made us a cup of tea and we usually found something to watch that we both liked, and sat together till we went to bed. I so miss that.

Anne x

Hi Mel and Ann. I hope you both enjoy your drink tonight. I know I will. 

Cheers. Mike 

Oh please! These <edit by admin> would be a polite word.

I'm not yet qualified for this forum, just stumbled across this exchange en route to my usual home, but I think  

1) report this exchange to the moderator, it is clearly restricted to bereaved spouses. (sorry, I know I shouldn't be here yet either, but my turn will come)

2) the Famous Grouse will be landing near me soon, bringing comfort with his wings...and no diminution in performance of my duties, either.

it is not without reason that we say cheers when we raise a glass.

xxxNiobe

Ps always in moderation, of course. However you define that......

I hardly ever drank before Aud died.

Now I admit I drink to much, but it does help. It helps me where antidepressant and counseling doesn't.

Simple as that really. 

Xxx

Sorry if I posted this twice. I'm not even drunk yet. 

I hardly touched alcohol before Aud died. I do now because it helps my pain better than antidepressants, councilin, my doctor, my familly and the god I don't belive in. 

Cheers

Xxx

.