Losing My Soulmate

Jo I'm so sorry that this has happened. You will be feeling many different emotions. I hope you have some support.

I know how you feel my wife happend the same we were having a cup of tea in hospital cafe on the Friday sat she was in critical care pneumonia Sunday she died that was July and still heartbroken hope you have family to support you they do help my sympathy is with you

Hi Jo I am so so sorry for your loss , and it is only a few days. You must still be in shock. My wife of 43 years passed away on 15 July and I still can’t believe it. She had melanoma and was about to start immunotherapy, she had one dose but it had spread to her brain, and there was nothing could be done. I know the pain/ loneliness/ anger and everything else you are going through. My hart goes out to you. People will say you must eat and sleep. But all I do is cry. They also say in time the pain will ease but you will never forget or stop loving them. I have also been told there is no timellimit to the grief. If you have family nearby that could help. Honestly my hart goes out to you. If you want to talk I am always here.

Look after your self. Mike  

Mike

Im so sorry for your loss. I don’t seem to even know what day it is. Chris passed away at home and it took 3 days and he was very agitated throughout. The whole experience was terrifying, absolutely devastating. I lay with Chris for 5 hours after, I just could not believe what had just happened. Nobody explained to me or Chris what going on a syringe driver actually meant. Our Gp even told him you could come off it if you feel better. 

I think I’m actually in shock , I do have family nearby and amazing neighbours. I saw the Gp today and I actually told him I thought euthanasia was against the law in the Uk. He actually said it’s all very controversial. 

Chris was 58 when he passed and he’d been diagnosed last June.

Thank you for answering 

Jo

Hi Jo 58 is so young , Winnie was ten years older she was also on a syringe driver for the last couple of days, she passed away at 6 am in her own bed and I was beside her. It is so hard to understand , everywhere I look I see things that reminds me of her which is good but also sad  . I cry all the time. I talk to her photo and think about her nonstop. 

I wish I could say it gets easier but as I am only a few days ahead of you I can’t . I would say try to eat and sleep but if you are like me it will be hard. I wish I could say something that would take the pain and loneliness away for the both of us. 

Mike 

Dear Jo

I am so very sorry to hear that you have lost Chris & that the end was such a horrible experience for you both. My heart goes out to you tonight. 

I lost my husband 14 months ago, also to advanced kidney cancer, he had a year to from diagnosis, it spread to lungs & brain, my husband was 50. 

I also had him at home on a syringe driver for 5 days before he passed so I can relate to how you feel about it. In the end, there was no alternative though as he couldn’t swallow the meds or even water. I know it is a very significant turning point & I was fortunate to know that in advance as the nurses warned me, but it makes you feel so helpless. It is very early days for you & you are having to process a very traumatic experience. It takes quite a while to stop seeing those last few days & images in your mind but it does gradually lessen I promise. It took me a while to truly realise & accept he was no longer suffering too.

Im glad you’ve turned to this group but very sorry you’ve found yourself here. It saddens me there are so many of us. But there are people on here that truly understand. They get it. Please keep posting whenever you feel the need, there are some great people on here & we all support each other. 

With love & hugs 

Sarah xx

Thank you so much Sarah. Its a horrible time at the moment, I really can’t believe it all happened, absolutely in shreds of tears. It was awful having to organise his funeral and life at the moment is unbearable. All our children are older and I gave up work to care for Chris so days are so lonely. 

Love Jo x

Hello Jo, so sorry for your loss. Nothing anyone can say will make you feel any better at this early stage but keep posting on here, there are some lovely people and they know what you're going through. I'm nearly 3 months down the line and while some days are better than others, I still don't really have good days and I feel lonely too. John and I were both retired and hadn't lived here long, so I don't have much of a support network. I find keeping busy helps but you're probably very tired, grief is exhausting.

Love and hugs

Anne x

Thank you Anne

im so sorry for your loss. You are so right grief is so exhausting. Hopefully in time I will start to feel better but right now my world has just collapsed 

love

Jo

Sorry June 16th she passed not July