Wedding anniversary - what did you do?

Hi there

Our anniversary was just five weeks after my husband died. I had thought I'd be in bed with the duvet over my head tbh. We used to go on holiday just after our anniversary so we usually struggled to do much on the day itself because we'd be up to our eyes getting work all sorted for abandoning it for nearly 3 weeks. 

But my eldest daughter came home and we just went out for the day with no fixed plans. We ended up having a fabulous walk (for hours) through some of the loveliest park areas in Glasgow, followed by a delicious pub lunch. It was sort of distraction but with lots of chat about him. 

My oldest friend lost her husband nearly a year ago and was 3 months before their anniversary. She had a big bbq on the day which I felt was immensely brave. I admired it but would never have chosen to do it. 

There are no rules. 

Good luck xxx

Joe and I were away for our final anniversary together - 12th July - and I had just popped into the supermarket to get some things for our tea. When I came out he was sat with our dog and he looked up at me and said ' it's our Wedding Anniversary today' - we had both forgotten. I kissed him and said I loved him. He was poorly then, but I never thought he would be gone by the end of the year. I cannot make sense of fact that he is not here. I thought he was invincible and would easily outlive me. We only got 14 years together and it went so fast...:0(

People keep telling me I am young to be a widow - just 50, but it took me so long to find Joe - I knew he was the one for me as soon as I saw him - it was like I had come home - I guess I am just destined to be on my own.

Dear Novembergirl and dear all,

my first wedding anniversary was lat year less than a couple of months after my darling Luca died. We had been together for over 11 years but decided to marry during his illness - he'd always wanted to, less so myself. But for the first wedding anniversary I planned an evening out with a girlfriend, the photographer at our wedding. It went well because I was doing something unusual for me and because we talked of everything, including Luca. But every anniversary is different and I've been very lucky so far in that in and around the dates things happen - I people I have not seen for a long time, I am offered activities that are new and i usual, and thus slays help. It builds new memories and it shows me that someone is looking over me and sending me things that help me.carry on.

In 3 weeks time on 24th February it would have been Our Golden Wedding (50 years) We were so looking forwards to it as we always celebrated our Anniversaries but this was to be extra special .For our ruby wedding we went on a wonderful cruise on the Queen Mary to the Caribbean and we had a queens grill standard cabin and he jokingly said "how are we going to top this for our Golden?" Well we were certainly going to try and were busy planning our trip of a lifetime when he became ill. That was in June and by August he was gone. So what do I do now?

I bought a memorial stone and made sure the stonemason would have it in place in time. It was in place and last week I went to put some flowers on the grave in place of the Christmas wreath that we had put on the unmarked place at Christmas and I was a mess I could not stop crying and just wanted to be in there with him, so the little ceremony that I thought the family may have now seems impossible as I couldn't put my family through witnessing me falling apart. It is a Saturday too and I find that Saturdays for me are the hardest days to get through as that was our day for being together without work or family. I have no idea either how to get through the day. Suggestions would be appreciated and hugs needed please.

Pauline xx

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Firstly Pauline sending you a massive hug xxxxx

Your post really touched me as it is my parents golden anniversary this weekend and I’m struggling having just lost my husband of 27 years.  I’m sorry I can’t tell you anything to do that will cover up your pain which I think you have to accept will be overwhelming especially on that day. The one thing I would say is that your family will expect you to be heartbroken you don’t have to pretend for them. Let them look after you a bit as I’m sure you and your husband have done for them over the years. 

One thing I would say is plan to do something where you won’t be alone. Something that you may enjoy but mostly something you are comfortable with. Expect to be upset and don’t be too hard on yourself about it. It is perfectly understandable.  My worst days seem to be when I’m alone so I’m keeping very busy doing nothing of any importance right now I won’t say this is great but it’s helping me keep going for the moment. 

Try to focus on some of the happier times you have had there must be so many in the wonderful years you have been together. Sending you love at this really sad time xx 

Thank you. You are very kind and I will try to keep what you say in mind. I also keep busy doing nothing but wake every morning and have a good cry. It seems to get better as the day goes on and I can cope, just about.

Thanks for the hug and here is one back xxxx

My husband's funeral was on Monday, and I college his ashes today. I had planned on taking them to Cornwall.  But for some reason tonight I've booked a week in Dorset  where we went for our first holiday back in 1984 and think I will probably scatter his ashes there.  Only thing is after I booked it I realised it coincided with our Wedding anniversary 33years.  I've had so many things happen since he died that can be just coincidence but I feel it is him telling me he's watching over me and everything is ok. Only thing is I don't feel ok just empty and numb and hoping it will get easier

Hugs and strength to all

Hi I’ve not been on here for a few months my wife of 25 yrs and partner of 33 died in may 2017 snd we often went to Dorset over the years especially when the children where young lovely memories for me .,,,what you say about him being with you watching etc I think is very true as I have also had many occasions when things have happened and they seem more than coincidence!.......god bless you your not alone in this x 

Hi Brenda2,

I agree, I don't believe in coincidences anymore everything runs too nicely when they occur to be chance. I believe it is my husband helping me a long, nudging me in the right direction nd reminding me he always loves me.

Peace and hugs

On our wedding anniversay I ordered a table in a restaurant and the next day we met the  wedding photographer in birmingham and had a little photosession to keep these precious moments of our life.